Jack, thank you, as always, you give us what we need when we need it most. It's been a bad 10 days personally, nothing huge, not a crocodile bite, just a thousand mosquito-sized bites, and my resilience is at rock bottom. SO, the breathing exercise is one I used to teach to my Army soldier/students back in the 80s. And now, I want to take the Stop the Bleed course, so that's a positive, right? Hardest thing? I think it's actually #1, until this regime is out of gas, there will always be something to fear, I fear. Ok, time to work on #6. Thank you, I needed this. #HoldingFastAGAIN
A pile of small bites...is often harder than one BIG one...so go easy on yourself this week.
Stop the Bleed is a GREAT step...and so is the fact...that you TAUGHT the breathing to soldiers in the 80s. You've been doing this longer than the researchers! Outstanding, Roberta.
On #1, here's a thought: the goal isn't to run OUT of things to fear. It's to make tonight's fear...small ENOUGH to hold. One sentence...one first step.
Thank you so much, but have to be fair and say the breathing exercise was part of the Basic Skills Education Program curriculum taught by Univ of Maryland, but probably developed by the Army, so I can't take credit. I've used it ever since then, but needed the reminder to use it this week. DUH. Just goes to show, if you don't use it, you lose it. THANK YOU.
Thanks for the inspiring words…we all need them!!! The KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON motivational poster from the British Ministry of Information is something we should all take to heart…and practice each and every day! Just keep moving forward, prepare the best we can by stocking our pantries, and realizing that this isn’t going to end tomorrow…it’s going to be long haul slog trying to save our country from this regime. I’m not saying fear isn’t part of what we are all facing…the anxiety of what this insane man, along with his cabal of obsequious underlings will do to maintain their control should not be underestimated, but as you mentioned the Londoners who lived through the Blitz, we must somehow develop that “Bliltz Spirit” in ourselves..it’s the only way we can keep going! Our determination, being constant in our resistance is so vital…as Churchill said “NEVER GIVE UP!”
Take Care Jack…and thanks for being here!
PS. I knew someone who survived the Blitz in London as a schoolgirl…and as she said to me, you have to just keep going!!
Christie...you've summed this article up spectacularly.
Keep moving...prepare what you can...and...settle in for the LONG haul. That last part is the Stockdale lesson EXACTLY.
The people who EXPECT it to be over by Christmas...yeah...those are the ones who BREAK.
I approach it...inside my head, is like this: "It would be awesome if it was over by____, but, if it lasts another 3 years, f*ck em, because I will STILL be here, stronger than ever!"
A FUN footnote on that poster: the British printed millions of KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON posters in 1939...but...they were almost never put up. The Londoners didn't need the poster. They. Just. Lived. It.
Also...your friend who survived the Blitz as a schoolgirl...said it best. "You have to just KEEP going" might be the shortest survival manual EVER written. Deeply profound.
Thank you for being here, Christie...and...for holding fast.
I read this on a Sunday afternoon, and I'm glad I did. The Blitz story set the tone for me. The officials planned for millions of broken minds, and what they got was people making tea in shelters and digging out their neighbors. Learning that the dread hurt more than the bombs did gave me a different way to look at my own worry.
The Stockdale section stayed with me longest. Holding faith that you'll prevail while staying honest about how bad things are right now is the balance I'm always trying to find, and you put it so clearly. Making the fear specific, and turning the gaps into a short to-do list, is something I can start using today.
I also loved Ruth and her 6:00 appointment. "Worry is a lot like a toddler" made me laugh out loud, and I think it's true. I'm going to try the notepad by the coffee maker.
You guessed number five, and you were right. Linda and Carol are far too familiar. Changing the script without giving up the call is a kind and workable way to do it, and I'll try asking "So what are we going to do?" the next time a conversation starts to spiral.
The ending gave me a lot too. Rescorla's story and the "look for the helpers" line turn fear into something to do, and "write the ending first" is a plan I can actually follow. Hold fast. I'll take that one with me.
Thank you for writing this, and for the steady, practical way you show up for your readers. It helps more than you know.
These tools and the stories with them are priceless. I use the breathing technique which I think you mentioned before when things get overwhelming. It also helps with my asthma as an added perk.
Pamela...oh how I love getting feedback like this!
So glad to know it has helped with your asthma...and that the stories were meaningful. I ALMOST didn't include the stories. But...that little voice in my head wouldn't leave me alone; it kept saying, USE THE STORIES.
Thank you so much for the inspiring words and coping skills. It is like therapy for the masses and so much needed. My life for the last year has been a dumpster fire! It helps to be reminded to carry on. Best money i ever spent was this substack. I actually write down the coping skills and keep by my bed. Have copied and handed out these also to people in need. Again thank you. I'm on even keel, staying calm and caring on. Much needed today.
I'm sorry the past year has been such a dumpster fire. Getting to an even keel...after a year like that takes real work...and you're doing it. I've experienced years like that, so...I TRULY admire your tenacity.
The list by your bed...oh yeah...THAT is exactly how these tools are meant to be used: close at hand...for the nights the fear shows up...UN-invited. And...handing copies to people who need them? That's tool #7 in ACTION.
You've ALREADY become one of the helpers, Linda. Well done.
Grateful you're here. Keep calm..keep caring...and hold fast.
Jack, thank you. I will be sharing this with my sister. We need your words to help us to understand how to be prepared for what is coming. Your methods are clear and should ground us. Hold fast.
Five is easy for me I have no one to bitch too. My hubby is a Libertarian.. so I do not really talk politics with him too much.. he vents I nod my head and I keep crocheting.. my father was friends with Reagan and Bush Sr. And Jr. but my father would never in a million years want a man in the Presidency like Dumbt..not ever.. my Father was US Navy.. Character Integrity and Kindness.. Dumbt has zero of these never had it never will. Period. Dumbt is a lying grifting PO💩.. the breathing exercises are absolutely necessary. It reminds me of scuba diving.. I’m at my most peaceful when I’m 25 ft - 50ft under water.. that’s my zen zone..
I hope I’m not kidding myself but as I have read your work over time, I feel like I am not struggling with fear (although I give in to anger more than I like to admit!) I remember in one article you encouraged us to be dangerous and I love that! I do picture scenarios where I might become a helper and rehearse how that might look. I guess making an appointment for fears/worries would be hard for me because I have learned to put them in their place quickly-not ignored, but not intrusive-and plan/prepare for how to handle things if needed.
I hope I live long enough to see resolution to the turmoil in our country and see our young ones thriving in the better place, country, society we can build for them.
Thank you for always bringing clarity and purpose to our thinking!
BG
PS I would like that hold fast picture on a t-shirt or mug!
Interesting. I grew up in a traumatic household and while it has affected me in several different ways, it also toughened me. I’m an attorney practicing intellectual property (trademarks and copyright, along with some computer law). What I find frustrating is when a client does not want to take steps to protect themselves (personally or in regard to their business).
In my world, it is important to anticipate what might happen coming at them: (1) if there is a train coming at them (infringement) and they haven’t allowed me to get them out of the way of that train; and (2) if they are the train operator and need to enforce their IP, but they haven’t anticipated budget-wise how to act should that happen.
Look, I think we have all grown up with the 3Rs: (1) reading; (2) [w]riting; and (3) [a]rithmatic. Because of my background, I have added 2 more: (4) Resilience; and (perhaps most importantly) (5) Resourcefulness.
I am a firm believer is being proactive. Anticipation doesn’t have to make someone feel like they need to hide under their bed. But it will allow them to get the hell out of the way of the train coming at them. To me, if something doesn’t work the way I expected, my resourcefulness trigger kicks in. It may take a couple of days (or more), but it allows me to shed the crappy feelings on my shoulders.
Thanks, Jack, for allowing me to mix metaphors. A sense of humor is vital.
Jack, thank you, as always, you give us what we need when we need it most. It's been a bad 10 days personally, nothing huge, not a crocodile bite, just a thousand mosquito-sized bites, and my resilience is at rock bottom. SO, the breathing exercise is one I used to teach to my Army soldier/students back in the 80s. And now, I want to take the Stop the Bleed course, so that's a positive, right? Hardest thing? I think it's actually #1, until this regime is out of gas, there will always be something to fear, I fear. Ok, time to work on #6. Thank you, I needed this. #HoldingFastAGAIN
Roberta...thank you for telling me.
A pile of small bites...is often harder than one BIG one...so go easy on yourself this week.
Stop the Bleed is a GREAT step...and so is the fact...that you TAUGHT the breathing to soldiers in the 80s. You've been doing this longer than the researchers! Outstanding, Roberta.
On #1, here's a thought: the goal isn't to run OUT of things to fear. It's to make tonight's fear...small ENOUGH to hold. One sentence...one first step.
Enjoy #6. Look up tonight.
#HoldingFastWITHYou
-Jack
Thank you so much, but have to be fair and say the breathing exercise was part of the Basic Skills Education Program curriculum taught by Univ of Maryland, but probably developed by the Army, so I can't take credit. I've used it ever since then, but needed the reminder to use it this week. DUH. Just goes to show, if you don't use it, you lose it. THANK YOU.
Jack,
Thanks for the inspiring words…we all need them!!! The KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON motivational poster from the British Ministry of Information is something we should all take to heart…and practice each and every day! Just keep moving forward, prepare the best we can by stocking our pantries, and realizing that this isn’t going to end tomorrow…it’s going to be long haul slog trying to save our country from this regime. I’m not saying fear isn’t part of what we are all facing…the anxiety of what this insane man, along with his cabal of obsequious underlings will do to maintain their control should not be underestimated, but as you mentioned the Londoners who lived through the Blitz, we must somehow develop that “Bliltz Spirit” in ourselves..it’s the only way we can keep going! Our determination, being constant in our resistance is so vital…as Churchill said “NEVER GIVE UP!”
Take Care Jack…and thanks for being here!
PS. I knew someone who survived the Blitz in London as a schoolgirl…and as she said to me, you have to just keep going!!
Christie...you've summed this article up spectacularly.
Keep moving...prepare what you can...and...settle in for the LONG haul. That last part is the Stockdale lesson EXACTLY.
The people who EXPECT it to be over by Christmas...yeah...those are the ones who BREAK.
I approach it...inside my head, is like this: "It would be awesome if it was over by____, but, if it lasts another 3 years, f*ck em, because I will STILL be here, stronger than ever!"
A FUN footnote on that poster: the British printed millions of KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON posters in 1939...but...they were almost never put up. The Londoners didn't need the poster. They. Just. Lived. It.
Also...your friend who survived the Blitz as a schoolgirl...said it best. "You have to just KEEP going" might be the shortest survival manual EVER written. Deeply profound.
Thank you for being here, Christie...and...for holding fast.
#HOLDFAST
-Jack
Jack,
I read this on a Sunday afternoon, and I'm glad I did. The Blitz story set the tone for me. The officials planned for millions of broken minds, and what they got was people making tea in shelters and digging out their neighbors. Learning that the dread hurt more than the bombs did gave me a different way to look at my own worry.
The Stockdale section stayed with me longest. Holding faith that you'll prevail while staying honest about how bad things are right now is the balance I'm always trying to find, and you put it so clearly. Making the fear specific, and turning the gaps into a short to-do list, is something I can start using today.
I also loved Ruth and her 6:00 appointment. "Worry is a lot like a toddler" made me laugh out loud, and I think it's true. I'm going to try the notepad by the coffee maker.
You guessed number five, and you were right. Linda and Carol are far too familiar. Changing the script without giving up the call is a kind and workable way to do it, and I'll try asking "So what are we going to do?" the next time a conversation starts to spiral.
The ending gave me a lot too. Rescorla's story and the "look for the helpers" line turn fear into something to do, and "write the ending first" is a plan I can actually follow. Hold fast. I'll take that one with me.
Thank you for writing this, and for the steady, practical way you show up for your readers. It helps more than you know.
With gratitude,
Jane...thank you for such a generous note. It means MORE than you know.
You pegged the HEART of it: faith in HOW the story ends...honesty about where we are TODAY...and...a short list of things to DO in between.
If you try the 6:00 appointment...and the "what are we going to do?" question...I'd love to hear how they work for you, Jane!
Grateful you're here. Always. Hold fast.
#HOLDFAST
-Jack
These tools and the stories with them are priceless. I use the breathing technique which I think you mentioned before when things get overwhelming. It also helps with my asthma as an added perk.
Pamela...oh how I love getting feedback like this!
So glad to know it has helped with your asthma...and that the stories were meaningful. I ALMOST didn't include the stories. But...that little voice in my head wouldn't leave me alone; it kept saying, USE THE STORIES.
Now, I'm glad I did:)
-Jack
100%
Thank you so much for the inspiring words and coping skills. It is like therapy for the masses and so much needed. My life for the last year has been a dumpster fire! It helps to be reminded to carry on. Best money i ever spent was this substack. I actually write down the coping skills and keep by my bed. Have copied and handed out these also to people in need. Again thank you. I'm on even keel, staying calm and caring on. Much needed today.
Linda Lewis...thank YOU. This made my day.
I'm sorry the past year has been such a dumpster fire. Getting to an even keel...after a year like that takes real work...and you're doing it. I've experienced years like that, so...I TRULY admire your tenacity.
The list by your bed...oh yeah...THAT is exactly how these tools are meant to be used: close at hand...for the nights the fear shows up...UN-invited. And...handing copies to people who need them? That's tool #7 in ACTION.
You've ALREADY become one of the helpers, Linda. Well done.
Grateful you're here. Keep calm..keep caring...and hold fast.
#HOLDFAST
-Jack
Jack, thank you. I will be sharing this with my sister. We need your words to help us to understand how to be prepared for what is coming. Your methods are clear and should ground us. Hold fast.
Five is easy for me I have no one to bitch too. My hubby is a Libertarian.. so I do not really talk politics with him too much.. he vents I nod my head and I keep crocheting.. my father was friends with Reagan and Bush Sr. And Jr. but my father would never in a million years want a man in the Presidency like Dumbt..not ever.. my Father was US Navy.. Character Integrity and Kindness.. Dumbt has zero of these never had it never will. Period. Dumbt is a lying grifting PO💩.. the breathing exercises are absolutely necessary. It reminds me of scuba diving.. I’m at my most peaceful when I’m 25 ft - 50ft under water.. that’s my zen zone..
I hope I’m not kidding myself but as I have read your work over time, I feel like I am not struggling with fear (although I give in to anger more than I like to admit!) I remember in one article you encouraged us to be dangerous and I love that! I do picture scenarios where I might become a helper and rehearse how that might look. I guess making an appointment for fears/worries would be hard for me because I have learned to put them in their place quickly-not ignored, but not intrusive-and plan/prepare for how to handle things if needed.
I hope I live long enough to see resolution to the turmoil in our country and see our young ones thriving in the better place, country, society we can build for them.
Thank you for always bringing clarity and purpose to our thinking!
BG
PS I would like that hold fast picture on a t-shirt or mug!
Interesting. I grew up in a traumatic household and while it has affected me in several different ways, it also toughened me. I’m an attorney practicing intellectual property (trademarks and copyright, along with some computer law). What I find frustrating is when a client does not want to take steps to protect themselves (personally or in regard to their business).
In my world, it is important to anticipate what might happen coming at them: (1) if there is a train coming at them (infringement) and they haven’t allowed me to get them out of the way of that train; and (2) if they are the train operator and need to enforce their IP, but they haven’t anticipated budget-wise how to act should that happen.
Look, I think we have all grown up with the 3Rs: (1) reading; (2) [w]riting; and (3) [a]rithmatic. Because of my background, I have added 2 more: (4) Resilience; and (perhaps most importantly) (5) Resourcefulness.
I am a firm believer is being proactive. Anticipation doesn’t have to make someone feel like they need to hide under their bed. But it will allow them to get the hell out of the way of the train coming at them. To me, if something doesn’t work the way I expected, my resourcefulness trigger kicks in. It may take a couple of days (or more), but it allows me to shed the crappy feelings on my shoulders.
Thanks, Jack, for allowing me to mix metaphors. A sense of humor is vital.