17 Comments
User's avatar
Deb's avatar

Brilliant!! So clear, so simple and so so needed right now. I practice this in principle if not exactly and it works! In addition, the usual suspects (adequate nourishing food, good sleep, love, community, etc) only help more. I love having this reminder and have restacked it.

Jack, you rock! Thank you for this.

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Deb...thank you so much for this!

You're absolutely right...the fundamentals matter more than we give them credit for. Good food, real sleep, people who love us... none of it is complicated, but...ALL of it is powerful.

And...the fact that you're ALREADY practicing this in principle...tells me you figured out the important part...long before I wrote about it.

Thank you for restacking it...and...for being here.

It means more than you know.

-Jack

Stacey Clark's avatar

Well. Certainly needed to hear this today. The idea of control is really ridiculous when you look at the enormity of the situations going on in our world. The idea of action is viable and meaningful as it pertains to our internal worlds and the truth of knowing the difference as the serenity prayer so aptly states, serves as a good reminder to us all. Thanks for the pep talk.

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Stacey Clark...you've drawn the exact distinction that matters: control IS an illusion...but action NEVER is.

We can't steer the storm...we can decide who we're going to be...inside it.

You're right that the Serenity Prayer said all of this first...and better. "The wisdom to know the difference" might be the most practical sentence ever written.

Glad this arrived on a day you needed it!

Thank you for being here.

-Jack

BG Lund's avatar

Excellent article!! It felt like a gentle therapy session! Very effective! Thank you so much!

Jack Hopkins's avatar

BG...that's music to my ears/eyes!

You're welcome:)

-Jack

David R. MD's avatar

When doing a psych eval these days, I don't ask "How are you sleeping?", I ask, "How badly are you sleeping?" Few people are sleeping well - including those with no "diagnosable disorder".

But the reality (that's part of the therapy) is understanding - as Jack basically points out - that losing sleep makes you LESS prepared, not better prepared (for whatever might come next).

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Dr. David...that reframe...."How badly are you sleeping?" ...says so much about this moment.

When the question itself has to assume the problem...we're past the point of pretending this is an individual issue.

And...you've put your finger on EXACTLY the paradox I was reaching for: the anxious mind treats lost sleep like vigilance...like we're standing guard.

But...we're not guarding anything. We're just depleting the very resources...we'll need for whatever does come.

Thank you for bringing your clinical perspective here!

Comments like this one make the whole newsletter smarter.

-Jack

David R. MD's avatar

100%

Thank you!

Our neurological wiring is inherently set up to be hunter-gatherers roaming the forest, needing to be wary; to be certain the stick next to us isn't a snake.

So, that's our "hard-wired" response, which we need to modify to current life & society.

Hunter-gatherers had a whole different type of dangers to be prepared for (and they rarely posted about it on social media...)

Jan Moon's avatar

Jack . . . this is excellent! I could identify with almost all of it. Someone once said to me, "Don't borrow trouble." I'm really good at that. This was very helpful. Thank you.

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Jan..."Don't borrow trouble"...that's the WHOLE piece in three words, isn't it?!

Whoever said that to you was wise.

I'd gently push back on one thing: recognizing that you're "really good at" borrowing trouble is actually the hardest part. Most people...never see the pattern at all. YOU...are further along than you're giving yourself credit for. Without question.

So glad this one landed for you. Thank you for being here!

-Jack

Morgan's avatar

That is bloody brilliant 🙌🏽 and so helpful!! Thank you Jack!!!

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Morgan...thank you. Truly.

So glad you found it useful!

-Jack

Cherae Stone's avatar

YAAAASSSSS!! Beautifully conveyed. Everyone enjoys a good story, and you are a masterful teller of tales. Restacking bd sharing!!

Thank you, my friend.

#HoldFast

Jack Hopkins's avatar

Rae...this energy!! Thank you, my friend!

You're right that everyone loves a good story...I've always believed the story is what makes the truth STICK. Facts inform... but stories MOVE.

Thank you for restacking and sharing. That's how these messages travel further than I ever could alone.

#HoldFast right back at you!

-Jack

Deborah Jacobson's avatar

Your articles always resonate with me and I am forever grateful for you and this community.

Teri Gelini's avatar

Great post to help realize you don’t worry over what is out of your control or what you imagine is going to happen. Control what you can (and a lot of times it’s more about managing than control). Life is fluid and you have to take things one day at a time. It is not easy for this person at times and I have to step back and reevaluate what really is needed. Thanks Jack

#HOLDFAST

Teri