Brilliant!! So clear, so simple and so so needed right now. I practice this in principle if not exactly and it works! In addition, the usual suspects (adequate nourishing food, good sleep, love, community, etc) only help more. I love having this reminder and have restacked it.
You're absolutely right...the fundamentals matter more than we give them credit for. Good food, real sleep, people who love us... none of it is complicated, but...ALL of it is powerful.
And...the fact that you're ALREADY practicing this in principle...tells me you figured out the important part...long before I wrote about it.
Thank you for restacking it...and...for being here.
When doing a psych eval these days, I don't ask "How are you sleeping?", I ask, "How badly are you sleeping?" Few people are sleeping well - including those with no "diagnosable disorder".
But the reality (that's part of the therapy) is understanding - as Jack basically points out - that losing sleep makes you LESS prepared, not better prepared (for whatever might come next).
Our neurological wiring is inherently set up to be hunter-gatherers roaming the forest, needing to be wary; to be certain the stick next to us isn't a snake.
So, that's our "hard-wired" response, which we need to modify to current life & society.
Hunter-gatherers had a whole different type of dangers to be prepared for (and they rarely posted about it on social media...)
Well. Certainly needed to hear this today. The idea of control is really ridiculous when you look at the enormity of the situations going on in our world. The idea of action is viable and meaningful as it pertains to our internal worlds and the truth of knowing the difference as the serenity prayer so aptly states, serves as a good reminder to us all. Thanks for the pep talk.
Stacey Clark...you've drawn the exact distinction that matters: control IS an illusion...but action NEVER is.
We can't steer the storm...we can decide who we're going to be...inside it.
You're right that the Serenity Prayer said all of this first...and better. "The wisdom to know the difference" might be the most practical sentence ever written.
Jack . . . this is excellent! I could identify with almost all of it. Someone once said to me, "Don't borrow trouble." I'm really good at that. This was very helpful. Thank you.
Jan..."Don't borrow trouble"...that's the WHOLE piece in three words, isn't it?!
Whoever said that to you was wise.
I'd gently push back on one thing: recognizing that you're "really good at" borrowing trouble is actually the hardest part. Most people...never see the pattern at all. YOU...are further along than you're giving yourself credit for. Without question.
So glad this one landed for you. Thank you for being here!
I emailed a link to this to Sens. Ron Wyden, Jeff Merkeley, and Rep. Maxine Dexter with the note: I would like for you to read this essay and also in particular the first comment from HK Jane. I believe it out outlines a grave and present danger operating in the shadows of the public-facing circus.
I’m reading an historical fiction book about Caterina Sforza, an Italian countess in the late 1400s. She was smart, cunning, and had to deal with unscrupulous Catholic Cardinals and Popes, family, and friends who changed allegiances almost monthly, and groups who fought then realigned, then fought again for decades. She was real, and formidable. Machiavelli wrote about her. Talk about tumultuous times! Italy was united by Garibaldi in the late 1800s. This has brought a new perspective to me regarding the fluidity of peace among, and in, nations and peoples. I’ve lived there and see there is still disagreement, but so far, peace has been holding. Memories of WWII are still fresh. I am concerned that our country might be regressing to the 1700s, but have hope we will return to more peaceful, intelligence driven, and kinder times. If not, then preparations will be made to live what’s left of my life in a new reality and to fight it with whatever resources I have. Dignity and respect to others until they prove they do not deserve it.
Great post to help realize you don’t worry over what is out of your control or what you imagine is going to happen. Control what you can (and a lot of times it’s more about managing than control). Life is fluid and you have to take things one day at a time. It is not easy for this person at times and I have to step back and reevaluate what really is needed. Thanks Jack
I think I’m missing a couple of vital fundamentals. In fact, I know I am and that’s a problem you can’t fix.
Some things I’m handling well and some are just out of my control. Personal issues are complicating everything and no one who could help is willing to.
I’m going to reread this tomorrow and see if I missed anything. I’m exhausted tonight. Not sleeping well and when I do I’m having terrible nightmares.. I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago and the nightmares come and go… mostly when I’m under a lot of stress… sometimes just out of nowhere. It makes it hard to ever feel rested.
I learned some years ago to calm myself by saying, "This is not a threat to me." Am I stuck in traffic? This is not a threat to me. Is my flight delayed by three hours? This is not a threat to me. Etc.
I'm not worrying. I'm preparing ;-) But seriously, what are people doing to prevent the seizing of mail-in ballots and other trickery that GOP losers will try? Shall we have mass protests, call our elected officials? Those actions seem ineffective. Can we premptively sue?
Brilliant!! So clear, so simple and so so needed right now. I practice this in principle if not exactly and it works! In addition, the usual suspects (adequate nourishing food, good sleep, love, community, etc) only help more. I love having this reminder and have restacked it.
Jack, you rock! Thank you for this.
Deb...thank you so much for this!
You're absolutely right...the fundamentals matter more than we give them credit for. Good food, real sleep, people who love us... none of it is complicated, but...ALL of it is powerful.
And...the fact that you're ALREADY practicing this in principle...tells me you figured out the important part...long before I wrote about it.
Thank you for restacking it...and...for being here.
It means more than you know.
-Jack
When doing a psych eval these days, I don't ask "How are you sleeping?", I ask, "How badly are you sleeping?" Few people are sleeping well - including those with no "diagnosable disorder".
But the reality (that's part of the therapy) is understanding - as Jack basically points out - that losing sleep makes you LESS prepared, not better prepared (for whatever might come next).
Dr. David...that reframe...."How badly are you sleeping?" ...says so much about this moment.
When the question itself has to assume the problem...we're past the point of pretending this is an individual issue.
And...you've put your finger on EXACTLY the paradox I was reaching for: the anxious mind treats lost sleep like vigilance...like we're standing guard.
But...we're not guarding anything. We're just depleting the very resources...we'll need for whatever does come.
Thank you for bringing your clinical perspective here!
Comments like this one make the whole newsletter smarter.
-Jack
100%
Thank you!
Our neurological wiring is inherently set up to be hunter-gatherers roaming the forest, needing to be wary; to be certain the stick next to us isn't a snake.
So, that's our "hard-wired" response, which we need to modify to current life & society.
Hunter-gatherers had a whole different type of dangers to be prepared for (and they rarely posted about it on social media...)
Well. Certainly needed to hear this today. The idea of control is really ridiculous when you look at the enormity of the situations going on in our world. The idea of action is viable and meaningful as it pertains to our internal worlds and the truth of knowing the difference as the serenity prayer so aptly states, serves as a good reminder to us all. Thanks for the pep talk.
Stacey Clark...you've drawn the exact distinction that matters: control IS an illusion...but action NEVER is.
We can't steer the storm...we can decide who we're going to be...inside it.
You're right that the Serenity Prayer said all of this first...and better. "The wisdom to know the difference" might be the most practical sentence ever written.
Glad this arrived on a day you needed it!
Thank you for being here.
-Jack
Excellent article!! It felt like a gentle therapy session! Very effective! Thank you so much!
BG...that's music to my ears/eyes!
You're welcome:)
-Jack
Jack . . . this is excellent! I could identify with almost all of it. Someone once said to me, "Don't borrow trouble." I'm really good at that. This was very helpful. Thank you.
Jan..."Don't borrow trouble"...that's the WHOLE piece in three words, isn't it?!
Whoever said that to you was wise.
I'd gently push back on one thing: recognizing that you're "really good at" borrowing trouble is actually the hardest part. Most people...never see the pattern at all. YOU...are further along than you're giving yourself credit for. Without question.
So glad this one landed for you. Thank you for being here!
-Jack
That is bloody brilliant 🙌🏽 and so helpful!! Thank you Jack!!!
Morgan...thank you. Truly.
So glad you found it useful!
-Jack
YAAAASSSSS!! Beautifully conveyed. Everyone enjoys a good story, and you are a masterful teller of tales. Restacking bd sharing!!
Thank you, my friend.
#HoldFast
Rae...this energy!! Thank you, my friend!
You're right that everyone loves a good story...I've always believed the story is what makes the truth STICK. Facts inform... but stories MOVE.
Thank you for restacking and sharing. That's how these messages travel further than I ever could alone.
#HoldFast right back at you!
-Jack
I emailed a link to this to Sens. Ron Wyden, Jeff Merkeley, and Rep. Maxine Dexter with the note: I would like for you to read this essay and also in particular the first comment from HK Jane. I believe it out outlines a grave and present danger operating in the shadows of the public-facing circus.
I’m reading an historical fiction book about Caterina Sforza, an Italian countess in the late 1400s. She was smart, cunning, and had to deal with unscrupulous Catholic Cardinals and Popes, family, and friends who changed allegiances almost monthly, and groups who fought then realigned, then fought again for decades. She was real, and formidable. Machiavelli wrote about her. Talk about tumultuous times! Italy was united by Garibaldi in the late 1800s. This has brought a new perspective to me regarding the fluidity of peace among, and in, nations and peoples. I’ve lived there and see there is still disagreement, but so far, peace has been holding. Memories of WWII are still fresh. I am concerned that our country might be regressing to the 1700s, but have hope we will return to more peaceful, intelligence driven, and kinder times. If not, then preparations will be made to live what’s left of my life in a new reality and to fight it with whatever resources I have. Dignity and respect to others until they prove they do not deserve it.
Your articles always resonate with me and I am forever grateful for you and this community.
Great post to help realize you don’t worry over what is out of your control or what you imagine is going to happen. Control what you can (and a lot of times it’s more about managing than control). Life is fluid and you have to take things one day at a time. It is not easy for this person at times and I have to step back and reevaluate what really is needed. Thanks Jack
#HOLDFAST
Teri
Thanks for the reinforcement.
I think I’m missing a couple of vital fundamentals. In fact, I know I am and that’s a problem you can’t fix.
Some things I’m handling well and some are just out of my control. Personal issues are complicating everything and no one who could help is willing to.
I’m going to reread this tomorrow and see if I missed anything. I’m exhausted tonight. Not sleeping well and when I do I’m having terrible nightmares.. I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago and the nightmares come and go… mostly when I’m under a lot of stress… sometimes just out of nowhere. It makes it hard to ever feel rested.
Thank you, Jack!
~Susan
I learned some years ago to calm myself by saying, "This is not a threat to me." Am I stuck in traffic? This is not a threat to me. Is my flight delayed by three hours? This is not a threat to me. Etc.
Good lord, I REALLY needed this advice today. Thank you, Jack! 😊🙏
I'm not worrying. I'm preparing ;-) But seriously, what are people doing to prevent the seizing of mail-in ballots and other trickery that GOP losers will try? Shall we have mass protests, call our elected officials? Those actions seem ineffective. Can we premptively sue?