This really spoke to me tonight. My biggest rock-my-world moment was a severe health crisis for my then 11 yo. My husband and I tried to focus on the best next step (my mantra) and taking turns being the calm one -- and never letting our kid see us panic. We're all ok now, and I hope I never have to ne that resilient again, but at least I know if I have to, I can. Thank you for giving me a good way to think about that.
Thank you, Jack. Definitely spoke to me. I’ve been quiet lately. Not commenting… but I’m here. Reading and rereading. Especially the paid piece yesterday. It was a lot. An amazing guide.
I lost someone very dear to me suddenly, unexpectedly about three weeks ago… April 1st.. yeah, that day. I’ve been grieving but still here. Just having trouble focusing and writing anything that makes sense. It’s going to take time as these things do but I’m not missing… just quiet, distracted and hurting. I’ll jump back in when I can.
Still contacting my elected officials but letters and emails instead of calls for now. Still reading everything you write… that won’t stop because I need it to get through everything. There’s a lot happening.
Thank you for writing this and all you give to us. I need to do more rereading and I will. Just wanted you to know I’m still here and still learning from you.
Susan, I am so sorry for your loss and the necessary grief! Even though we do not know each other, please do know that people care and wish you comfort. I do know that love in friendship and in deep relationships never dies, and I hope you can feel comfort from the spirit of all that is and has been good to ease your pain of loss.
I recently saw a book which I have not yet read. Its title, I think is, We Are Never Alone. Or maybe it was the book titled I am Still Here. If these thoughts help, good. If not, still just know that people do care. It sounds like you are taking some good action to continue making life better for all of us and for lives that come after us. Thank you!
You’re welcome, Susan. Your ways of carrying on through grief are inspiring. I have noticed family members and other people do what they can to build, to create, to help others as they work through deep grief. Each of you are inspiring, and I thank you for the lovely way you described what you are doing. Your pattern of bravery is sticking with me tonight and will be a possible map for beyond these times.
Thanks, Jack, great reminder. It’s what they teach in survival training - take the next step, whatever it is, whatever the situation, there is ALWAYS something else you can do. Shelter, water, food. But then of course there are MY priorities in these moments - vodka, humor, dark chocolate
The ground beneath me damn near swallowed me when I found my brother after his suicide. That was 2 years ago. We were very close. I get through it the best I can on any given day.
Lori, I have tears for your shock and pain. Please know that i wish you increasing comfort as time passes. I believe that the good in your brother lives on in spirit and always will.
Lori, I believe he is trying to comfort you in spirit, because I believe we never really leave people we truly love. With those thoughts I am going to turn in for the night, but I will fall asleep thinking of loving spirits and the peace and caring they want to share.
The most important sentence in this piece is buried near its center: “Your job is not to feel better immediately. Your job is to stay accurate. This is a moment. Not a verdict.” Historians who study periods of acute instability observe a consistent pattern in how individuals respond to serious disruption — not cowardice, but something more precise: the mis-categorization of a temporary condition as a permanent state. The mind under pressure reaches for narrative closure, and in the absence of certainty, invents an ending. Usually the worst one available. Jack is correct that this is where the real damage occurs. Not in the disruption itself, but in the story told about it.
What Jack calls returning to what you control, historians of resistance would recognize as the elementary discipline of the occupied: you do not ask whether you will prevail. You ask what is in front of you today. What small act of forward motion remains possible in this hour. The final principle — trust the pattern — is the one most likely to be misread as sentiment. It is not. It is an empirical claim. The person who has come through difficulty before possesses information that the person in crisis tends to forget: that they have a track record. That their own history contains evidence. The ground will not stop shifting — that is the honest condition of this moment. What Jack is offering is not the promise of still ground. It is something more durable: the practice of remaining upright while the ground moves. Done long enough, that practice becomes character. And character is what the present moment will ultimately require of us.
I, too, have experienced a multitude of disasters in my life...and I expect to experience more as I age and lose more people.
But I've been hanging around with myself long enough to know that I WILL get through anything that gets thrown at me because...I already have and have learned to truly TRUST MYSELF!
Once you TRUST yourself...life really becomes an adventure!
Sky - exactly this. I am in my seventh decade of "hanging around with myself" - love that. I know I will get through because I always have - always, eventually sometimes, finding the focus necessary, stepping forward, experiencing the resilience, control as needed, feeling the self trust.
My niece and I just had such a talk as she is navigating some stuff. It was very energizing for us both!
Jack, thank you so much. While I do know that each of our lives differ in circumstances, we all have these moments of being overcome. You have impeccable timing, and I do have concerns about what is to come, for people who need help, as well as for those of us who need to provide the particular help, and quite possibly. for those of us who are helpers and have taken the necessary steps despite the risks, as there can be some repercussions in reactions.
I do not know what outcomes there will be, but when so much is happening right now, in several directions, and when so many people need help at the same time and in various directions, the impact of being needed can feel like the world is spinning, and there are big steps to take at times, not that anyone wants to have to take them, but when the timing is right for people we love or care about, and we know need our help.
When somebody needs something, and it is hard to do what is necessary, it is the getting down to work on familiar tasks, the accomplishment of work, the caring for a pet, the photographing of a flower, or simply appreciating it, breathing the air and appreciating the sky and trees that help call attention to what is normal. I think those acts of normalcy, acts of accomplishing something rather than freezing with all-consuming worry, are translations of your valuable and opportune advice.
It could very well be that more actions fitting your pattern of recognition, and doing, plus taking time for analyzing how resilience works in our lives, is absolutely necessary, and the reminders to “stay calm and carry on” only on a still deeper level of perspective than those famed two words we have heard from Winston Churchill, I believe, are valuable as you give the detailed recipe.
For whatever times we need your pattern and to reread how to apply it, I thank you for the gold, Jack. I also feel a bit of qualm of concern about how much it will be needed still more and how soon. Many conditions are uncertain for many people right now. Sticking together helps, and for the times with company, but particularly when without anyone around, what a gift your writing is!
Judy, I so appreciated your comments. I wholeheartedly agree that Jack has impeccable timing! For those of us who are “helpers” the weight of the universe often makes us forget to “right” ourselves in the order of our everyday lives. I know I’m guilty of putting myself last!
As I reread parts of your comments, especially the part where (my paraphrasing) you validate that we won’t be of “help” to others if we don’t find a way of creating an oasis for self-rejuvenation. The “magic of ordinary days.” (I think that was the title of a Hallmark movie 🤔).
We do need to recenter and find “magic” in our ordinary days. It sounds easy, doesn’t it, but I’m betting it is hard for too many of us to do.
Brilliant- I will be sharing this with my neurodivergent adult son who struggles with self-trust. He stays too long at the “pity” party, rails against the inequalities of the universe, and forgets past “victories” while giving too much “credit” to perceived failures.
He stays mired in the “black” Irish component of his DNA and counts what he can’t change (his genetic inheritance) as a failure on his part. This newsletter will be of great value in helping me reframe my approach with him. The simplistic, straightforward framework of your advice will appeal to his need for actionable iterations. Flip his normal equation: don’t attempt the complexities until you’ve mastered the fundamentals!
Whatever motivated you to give us this guide to inner peace, renewed commitment, regaining our resilience or dusting off our self-trust, it has resonated with me. My “what’s next” is to reread the newsletter, make a copy for my son, and then find a weekend day to go to brunch with him, and work through the concepts you raise by each of us applying them to ourselves. It has always been invaluable if I use an authentic “voice” with him. He has little tolerance for fake interactions.
He is a deep thinker and I know this approach will help him with some rough patches he’s been working through lately.
This really spoke to me tonight. My biggest rock-my-world moment was a severe health crisis for my then 11 yo. My husband and I tried to focus on the best next step (my mantra) and taking turns being the calm one -- and never letting our kid see us panic. We're all ok now, and I hope I never have to ne that resilient again, but at least I know if I have to, I can. Thank you for giving me a good way to think about that.
Thank you, Jack. Definitely spoke to me. I’ve been quiet lately. Not commenting… but I’m here. Reading and rereading. Especially the paid piece yesterday. It was a lot. An amazing guide.
I lost someone very dear to me suddenly, unexpectedly about three weeks ago… April 1st.. yeah, that day. I’ve been grieving but still here. Just having trouble focusing and writing anything that makes sense. It’s going to take time as these things do but I’m not missing… just quiet, distracted and hurting. I’ll jump back in when I can.
Still contacting my elected officials but letters and emails instead of calls for now. Still reading everything you write… that won’t stop because I need it to get through everything. There’s a lot happening.
Thank you for writing this and all you give to us. I need to do more rereading and I will. Just wanted you to know I’m still here and still learning from you.
#Holdfast
~Susan
Sending my very best energy to you, Susan.
Healing, as you say, takes time.
Reading what you say tells me you have the tools to recover.
Courage and Bravery will always surround you.
Thank you Sky.
Susan, I am so sorry for your loss and the necessary grief! Even though we do not know each other, please do know that people care and wish you comfort. I do know that love in friendship and in deep relationships never dies, and I hope you can feel comfort from the spirit of all that is and has been good to ease your pain of loss.
I recently saw a book which I have not yet read. Its title, I think is, We Are Never Alone. Or maybe it was the book titled I am Still Here. If these thoughts help, good. If not, still just know that people do care. It sounds like you are taking some good action to continue making life better for all of us and for lives that come after us. Thank you!
#HOLDFAST!
Thank you so much Judy.
You’re welcome, Susan. Your ways of carrying on through grief are inspiring. I have noticed family members and other people do what they can to build, to create, to help others as they work through deep grief. Each of you are inspiring, and I thank you for the lovely way you described what you are doing. Your pattern of bravery is sticking with me tonight and will be a possible map for beyond these times.
That means a lot Judy. Truly!
Thank you Jack. Your formula for surviving this avalanche of ignorance and corruption is spot on!
Really good advice, Jack, walkin' the blue's away.... have a good night 😴💤 and will reStack ASAP 🙏
Thanks, Jack, great reminder. It’s what they teach in survival training - take the next step, whatever it is, whatever the situation, there is ALWAYS something else you can do. Shelter, water, food. But then of course there are MY priorities in these moments - vodka, humor, dark chocolate
The ground beneath me damn near swallowed me when I found my brother after his suicide. That was 2 years ago. We were very close. I get through it the best I can on any given day.
Lori, I have tears for your shock and pain. Please know that i wish you increasing comfort as time passes. I believe that the good in your brother lives on in spirit and always will.
Thank you Judy. Your kind words made me cry. I miss him every day.
Lori, I believe he is trying to comfort you in spirit, because I believe we never really leave people we truly love. With those thoughts I am going to turn in for the night, but I will fall asleep thinking of loving spirits and the peace and caring they want to share.
Thank you. Bless your heart 💜
Steady. Solid. Done. ✅
thank you💝🔥
Thank You Jack 🙏
The most important sentence in this piece is buried near its center: “Your job is not to feel better immediately. Your job is to stay accurate. This is a moment. Not a verdict.” Historians who study periods of acute instability observe a consistent pattern in how individuals respond to serious disruption — not cowardice, but something more precise: the mis-categorization of a temporary condition as a permanent state. The mind under pressure reaches for narrative closure, and in the absence of certainty, invents an ending. Usually the worst one available. Jack is correct that this is where the real damage occurs. Not in the disruption itself, but in the story told about it.
What Jack calls returning to what you control, historians of resistance would recognize as the elementary discipline of the occupied: you do not ask whether you will prevail. You ask what is in front of you today. What small act of forward motion remains possible in this hour. The final principle — trust the pattern — is the one most likely to be misread as sentiment. It is not. It is an empirical claim. The person who has come through difficulty before possesses information that the person in crisis tends to forget: that they have a track record. That their own history contains evidence. The ground will not stop shifting — that is the honest condition of this moment. What Jack is offering is not the promise of still ground. It is something more durable: the practice of remaining upright while the ground moves. Done long enough, that practice becomes character. And character is what the present moment will ultimately require of us.
#HOLDFAST
Excellent analysis, HKJane.
I, too, have experienced a multitude of disasters in my life...and I expect to experience more as I age and lose more people.
But I've been hanging around with myself long enough to know that I WILL get through anything that gets thrown at me because...I already have and have learned to truly TRUST MYSELF!
Once you TRUST yourself...life really becomes an adventure!
Sky - exactly this. I am in my seventh decade of "hanging around with myself" - love that. I know I will get through because I always have - always, eventually sometimes, finding the focus necessary, stepping forward, experiencing the resilience, control as needed, feeling the self trust.
My niece and I just had such a talk as she is navigating some stuff. It was very energizing for us both!
#HoldFast
Beautifully said!💙🍀✌🏽
Get thrown, dust yourself off and get right back on that horse
I keep remembering...
Control is an Illusion.
The best we can do is learn to bounce!
Sky, LOVE THAT! So airy, easy and light! Thank you, Bounce, Bounce, its even sound beautiful & light! 💙🍀✌🏽
Jack, thank you so much. While I do know that each of our lives differ in circumstances, we all have these moments of being overcome. You have impeccable timing, and I do have concerns about what is to come, for people who need help, as well as for those of us who need to provide the particular help, and quite possibly. for those of us who are helpers and have taken the necessary steps despite the risks, as there can be some repercussions in reactions.
I do not know what outcomes there will be, but when so much is happening right now, in several directions, and when so many people need help at the same time and in various directions, the impact of being needed can feel like the world is spinning, and there are big steps to take at times, not that anyone wants to have to take them, but when the timing is right for people we love or care about, and we know need our help.
When somebody needs something, and it is hard to do what is necessary, it is the getting down to work on familiar tasks, the accomplishment of work, the caring for a pet, the photographing of a flower, or simply appreciating it, breathing the air and appreciating the sky and trees that help call attention to what is normal. I think those acts of normalcy, acts of accomplishing something rather than freezing with all-consuming worry, are translations of your valuable and opportune advice.
It could very well be that more actions fitting your pattern of recognition, and doing, plus taking time for analyzing how resilience works in our lives, is absolutely necessary, and the reminders to “stay calm and carry on” only on a still deeper level of perspective than those famed two words we have heard from Winston Churchill, I believe, are valuable as you give the detailed recipe.
For whatever times we need your pattern and to reread how to apply it, I thank you for the gold, Jack. I also feel a bit of qualm of concern about how much it will be needed still more and how soon. Many conditions are uncertain for many people right now. Sticking together helps, and for the times with company, but particularly when without anyone around, what a gift your writing is!
# HOLDFAST!
Judy, I so appreciated your comments. I wholeheartedly agree that Jack has impeccable timing! For those of us who are “helpers” the weight of the universe often makes us forget to “right” ourselves in the order of our everyday lives. I know I’m guilty of putting myself last!
As I reread parts of your comments, especially the part where (my paraphrasing) you validate that we won’t be of “help” to others if we don’t find a way of creating an oasis for self-rejuvenation. The “magic of ordinary days.” (I think that was the title of a Hallmark movie 🤔).
We do need to recenter and find “magic” in our ordinary days. It sounds easy, doesn’t it, but I’m betting it is hard for too many of us to do.
Again, thanks Judy for sharing. 😊
Diana
Beautiful! 💙🍀✌🏽
Brilliant- I will be sharing this with my neurodivergent adult son who struggles with self-trust. He stays too long at the “pity” party, rails against the inequalities of the universe, and forgets past “victories” while giving too much “credit” to perceived failures.
He stays mired in the “black” Irish component of his DNA and counts what he can’t change (his genetic inheritance) as a failure on his part. This newsletter will be of great value in helping me reframe my approach with him. The simplistic, straightforward framework of your advice will appeal to his need for actionable iterations. Flip his normal equation: don’t attempt the complexities until you’ve mastered the fundamentals!
Whatever motivated you to give us this guide to inner peace, renewed commitment, regaining our resilience or dusting off our self-trust, it has resonated with me. My “what’s next” is to reread the newsletter, make a copy for my son, and then find a weekend day to go to brunch with him, and work through the concepts you raise by each of us applying them to ourselves. It has always been invaluable if I use an authentic “voice” with him. He has little tolerance for fake interactions.
He is a deep thinker and I know this approach will help him with some rough patches he’s been working through lately.
My deepest thanks!
Diana
Count me among those who feel seen in reading your post. Thank you.
Excellent. On the nail. Nothing wasted. As usual.