The Ultimate Guide to Supporting a Loved One with Trump Fueled Anxiety—How to Help Without Saying the Wrong Thing or Making It Worse

The Jack Hopkins Now Newsletter #283

Anxiety disorders affect millions of people worldwide, making them one of the most common mental health challenges. If someone you love struggles with anxiety, you may feel unsure about how to help them.

Mental healthcare providers across the nation are reporting the same thing; both the level of anxiety they see in their patients and the number of patients reporting anxiety are going up rapidly.

What’s one of the main culprits for these spikes? None other than Donald John Trump and his merry band of idiots.

While you can't "fix" your loved ones’ anxiety, you can offer valuable support that helps them feel understood, safe, and empowered to manage their symptoms. This guide will help you understand anxiety, offer effective support, and improve communication with your loved one.

Before offering support, it's important to understand what anxiety is and how it affects people.

Anxiety is more than just feeling nervous or worried…it's a persistent state of fear or apprehension that can interfere with daily life.

Anxiety disorders can include:

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – Chronic, excessive worry about various aspects of life.

• Social Anxiety Disorder – Intense fear of social situations and interactions.

• Panic Disorder – Sudden and repeated panic attacks that include heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and dizziness.

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – Intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety.

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – Anxiety symptoms following a traumatic event.

People with anxiety may experience physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, and insomnia.

Understanding these symptoms can help you approach your loved one with greater compassion.

How to Offer Emotional Support

1. Listen Without Judgment

One of the most powerful ways to support a loved one with anxiety…is to be a compassionate listener. When they share their thoughts and feelings, avoid minimizing their experiences or offering quick solutions.

The fastest way to become irrelevant to someone is to minimize their experiences. You instantly become a “They don’t know shit. They don’t really care!” person, whether that was your intention or not.

Instead:

• Let them talk without interrupting.

• Use validating statements like, "That sounds really tough. I'm here for you." I always calibrated to my client. If I knew they were a little rough around the edges like me, I would speak their language; “Son of a bitch, I don’t know how you do it. Tell me what to do?” (even when I knew what I was going to do. I wanted them to feel in charge.)

• Avoid saying, "Just relax" or "Don't worry so much," which can feel dismissive.

2. Validate Their Feelings

Anxiety often feels isolating, and people with anxiety may worry that others don’t understand them. Even if their fears seem irrational, acknowledge their emotions as real and valid. Say things like:

• "I see that this is really upsetting for you."

• "It’s okay to feel this way. While you might feel like you’re doing this alone, I’m here in whatever way you need me to be."

3. Encourage Professional Help (Without Pressuring)

Many people with anxiety benefit from therapy, medication, or other professional treatments. If your loved one is hesitant to seek help:

• Gently suggest they talk to a doctor or therapist. My favorite phrase was “Some people consider talking to a doctor as well, and I think that’s a good idea; I think everyone who does should only do so as quickly as feels right.” Adding that last part relieved any resistance that might have formed on “…consider talking to a doctor..” It’s like I’m giving them a way out, but…not really. It simply relieves the tension and leaves the suggestion of seeing a doctor intact, minus the resistance.

• Offer to help them find a mental health professional…if they ask or otherwise show interest.

• Avoid making them feel forced…ultimately, the decision should be theirs.

4. Learn About Their Triggers

Each person with anxiety has unique triggers that worsen their symptoms. Some may struggle with crowded places, social situations, or specific stressors like financial concerns. Ask them:

• You could ask"Are there situations that make your anxiety worse?" but that focuses them on where they don’t function well. I go in backwards: “What are the situations and places where you are able to function just fine, and feel strong?” This focuses on where they are okay, and serves as a mental anchor that, yes…there are several places in life where they do not have these issues. I like to really get them to load up on those, and only then do I say, “So, in these few areas where you’ve had these situations, tell me about those.”

• "How can I help when you're feeling overwhelmed?" By understanding their triggers, you can be more prepared to support them during difficult moments.

How to Help During an Anxiety Attack (Don’t call it an “Attack.” I refer to it as “Anxiousness.”)

Anxiety or panic attacks can be intense and frightening for both the person experiencing them and their loved ones. Here’s how you can help in the moment:

1. Stay Calm

Your loved one may feel even more panicked if they see you become anxious or overwhelmed. Take deep breaths and remain as composed as possible. I always say, “Whatever it is you want someone else to experience…go there first.”

As an EMT, when I responded to an emergency, I showed up on scene as loose as a goose, and so chill in my demeanor, that no conscious patient could avoid being influenced by my state of mind and body.

If you think you are dying, and someone shows up to help you who acts like they believe you are dying, it causes your fear to spike even more. Not good.

However, if you think you are dying, and I show up, attentive…but as chill as I might be after a nice nap, your fear level will likely decrease as your mind rationalizes, “Maybe it’s not as bad as I’ve been thinking.” (Even if it is that bad, there’s no benefit to you from thinking it is right then. It’s counterproductive to…about everything.)

2. Offer Reassurance

Remind them that they are safe and that it will pass. Use grounding statements like:

• "You're safe right now. I’m here with you."

• "Take your time; there’s no rush."

• Remind them, “You’ve experienced this dozens of times in the past. They’ve always ended. Always. They always will.” (That’s true, by the way.)

3. Guide Them Through Deep Breathing

Encourage slow, deep breaths to help them regain control. Try:

• 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds.

• Box breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds.

4. Use Grounding Techniques

Grounding exercises can help them reconnect with the present moment:

• 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things they see, 3 things they feel, 3 things they hear, 2 things they smell, and 1 thing they taste. Then 4, 2,2,1,1. Then 3,1,1,1,1. and finally 1,1,1,1,1. So, it might sound like this: “The light, the table, the carpet, the window, your desk, my feet on the floor, my legs on the chair, the fan blowing on my face, the sound of my breathing, the mower outside, the traffic going by, the smell of new mown grass, the smell of your coffee, the residual taste of Pepsi in my mouth.” This. Is. Very Potent. I’ve used to with hundreds of people of the last three decades.

• Hold an object: Ask them to focus on the texture, weight, and details of an object like a rock or fabric.

5. Respect Their Coping Strategies

Some people prefer solitude during an anxious period, while others need physical reassurance. Ask them:

• "Would you like me to stay with you, or do you need some space?"

• "Would holding my hand help, or do you prefer to be left alone?" Respect their boundaries while offering support.

Helping Them Manage Anxiety Long-Term

1. Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Choices

A balanced lifestyle can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Encourage them to:

• Get enough sleep – Lack of rest can worsen anxiety. Do. Not. Short. Your. Sleep. Period.

• Exercise regularly – Activities like walking, yoga, or swimming can help regulate stress. No. Really. Like…by a lot.

• Eat a balanced diet – Limiting caffeine, sugar, and processed foods can stabilize mood. Caffeine is a stimulant. Enough said?

• Practice relaxation techniques – Meditation, journaling, or breathing exercises can promote calmness.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Supporting a loved one with anxiety can be emotionally demanding. It’s important to take care of your own well-being by:

• Setting limits on how much emotional energy you can provide.

• Encouraging them to seek additional support if needed.

• Taking time for self-care and stress management.

3. Be Patient and Supportive

Anxiety isn’t something that disappears overnight. There will be good days and bad days, and progress isn’t always linear. Continue offering encouragement and reminding them that they are not alone.

What Not to Do

Avoid these common mistakes when supporting someone with anxiety:

• Don’t minimize their feelings. Saying "It’s not a big deal" or "Just stop worrying" can make them feel unheard. A doctor once told me, “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” when I have torn all the tendons in my thumb. I almost cracked him in the head so I could say, “It doesn’t hurt that bad” with a grin. I didn’t. I wanted to.

• Don’t try to fix everything. Anxiety isn’t something you can "solve" for them.

• Don’t push them into uncomfortable situations. Doing so too early will backfire. Exposure therapy can play a role, but my experience has been that not everyone is cut out for doing effective Exposure therapy. It’s not just science. There’s also a healthy “art” component, and not everyone can pull it off effectively.

• Don’t take their anxiety personally. Their anxiety isn’t about you; it’s an internal struggle they are managing.

Supporting a loved one with anxiety requires empathy, patience, and understanding.

You can make a meaningful difference in their journey toward managing anxiety by listening, validating their feelings, and helping them develop coping strategies. While you may not have all the answers, your presence and support are incredibly valuable.

Donald Trump might be wreaking havoc for longer than we would like, but…that doesn’t mean we have to suffer needlessly or watch friends, family/loved ones do so.

By applying what I’ve outlined above, you can help yourself and the others in your life. The world needs more people to be able to do that. Be that person.

That’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed it, and will find it useful.

Best,

Jack

Jack Hopkins