Jack is right that reaching toward is the move nobody tells you costs the least and pays the most. I want to give you the empirical case for it, because I watched it happen.
File the date. A woman running for governor of Oklahoma, the only Democrat in the race, drove into a small town most campaigns write off before Labor Day. Not a rally. Not a stage. A nursing home. She sat with residents, with family members, with staff, and she stayed an hour. That is a room built entirely on Jack’s third move — reach toward, find where your people already gather — except she did something harder. She walked into a room that wasn’t yet hers, and made a case for why it should be.
Note what she was up against before she opened her mouth. Historians know this pattern: the isolation Jack described on Monday isn’t only personal, it’s manufactured politically. People in that room had been told for years, by people who never showed up, what a Democrat is. Communist. Coming for your child. Open borders for everyone. That caricature is the political version of the same isolation machine Jack named — it works by making sure you never actually sit across from the thing you’ve been told to fear, so the fear never has to survive contact with a person.
File what happened when it did survive contact. She talked about healthcare. She talked about education. She talked about her record. And the shock in that room wasn’t political, it was almost physical — the shock of finding out the caricature and the person were not the same thing. That is Jack’s “reach in, reach out, reach toward” compressed into a single afternoon: she reached toward a room that hadn’t been reached toward in years, and the room reached back. I’ve seen more lawn signs for her in my own small town since than I’ve seen for any Democrat in a decade.
Note the mechanism, because it matters more than the anecdote. Connection doesn’t just heal loneliness. It corrodes the caricature that isolation depends on. A stranger on a screen is easy to fear. A woman who sat with your mother for an hour is not. That is not a messaging strategy. That is what happens, mechanically, every time presence replaces the feed.
File the date. Note who showed up. Note what showed up to meet her.
Jack, thank you for the frame — Bedrock has given a lot of us the words for something we were already trying to do without knowing how to name it.
HK, first off… I love your posts. Secondly, the point about the woman running for governor stopping to chat and listen to the people in the nursing home is (from where I sit, anyway) the reason the Mamdami’s of the world are getting elected. Most people simply want to be actually heard and believe that someone has their interests at heart. It’s kind of simple when it comes down to it.
You're so prolific that I can't keep up! But I'm always happy when I take the time to read an article, rummage around on the site to make the algorithm happy, and maybe drop a comment. This article is gold!
I have more friends at 75 than I've had for my whole life. I have all the individual friends collected over a lifetime, plus family, plus lots of like-minded people from the Red Cross and my church. It's a gift at any age, and especially at this age.
Thank Jack!! This series, for me, is a little like a really good friend asking if they can share some observations and then gently pulling no punches.
If we’re honest with ourselves, I’m guessing we know at least a little of what you’re putting down and have forgotten, think we don’t have time, maybe it doesn’t matter if I really do or don’t…. any number of ‘things’…. doesn’t matter what or which. What does matter is the clarity and, in many cases, the utter simplicity of steps to take, ways to look at things.
It reminds of a knotty programming issue I had a million years ago. I turned myself inside out trying to solve it, finally went to the boss and said help! He looked at it, thought for about 30 seconds and said just do whatever it was. It was so damn simple and I’d agonized over it for way too long….
I see you as having a way to cut through the bullshit and get to the chase that we all kind of need right now. In a word…. Invaluable.
Love this! I moved to the Westside of my State and I have made a real effort to stay connected to my former neighbors and work colleagues. Lots of texts! It has been so helpful and fulfilling to stay connected. One of the techs I worked with called me the human bridge, I listened and kept judgement out of it. When we found common ground exchange of views became less contentious.
Tonight I am going to call a former neighbor as I promised him I would. Connections are so vital.
This is such a great reminder and it comes on a day that is meaningful to me. My family is split and I sometimes feel hopeless but being reminded I do have “my people” is calming. The effort I spend trying to get somewhere with those who aren’t my people is just so senseless and exhausting. Once again thanks !
Jack is right that reaching toward is the move nobody tells you costs the least and pays the most. I want to give you the empirical case for it, because I watched it happen.
File the date. A woman running for governor of Oklahoma, the only Democrat in the race, drove into a small town most campaigns write off before Labor Day. Not a rally. Not a stage. A nursing home. She sat with residents, with family members, with staff, and she stayed an hour. That is a room built entirely on Jack’s third move — reach toward, find where your people already gather — except she did something harder. She walked into a room that wasn’t yet hers, and made a case for why it should be.
Note what she was up against before she opened her mouth. Historians know this pattern: the isolation Jack described on Monday isn’t only personal, it’s manufactured politically. People in that room had been told for years, by people who never showed up, what a Democrat is. Communist. Coming for your child. Open borders for everyone. That caricature is the political version of the same isolation machine Jack named — it works by making sure you never actually sit across from the thing you’ve been told to fear, so the fear never has to survive contact with a person.
File what happened when it did survive contact. She talked about healthcare. She talked about education. She talked about her record. And the shock in that room wasn’t political, it was almost physical — the shock of finding out the caricature and the person were not the same thing. That is Jack’s “reach in, reach out, reach toward” compressed into a single afternoon: she reached toward a room that hadn’t been reached toward in years, and the room reached back. I’ve seen more lawn signs for her in my own small town since than I’ve seen for any Democrat in a decade.
Note the mechanism, because it matters more than the anecdote. Connection doesn’t just heal loneliness. It corrodes the caricature that isolation depends on. A stranger on a screen is easy to fear. A woman who sat with your mother for an hour is not. That is not a messaging strategy. That is what happens, mechanically, every time presence replaces the feed.
File the date. Note who showed up. Note what showed up to meet her.
Jack, thank you for the frame — Bedrock has given a lot of us the words for something we were already trying to do without knowing how to name it.
#HoldFast
HK, first off… I love your posts. Secondly, the point about the woman running for governor stopping to chat and listen to the people in the nursing home is (from where I sit, anyway) the reason the Mamdami’s of the world are getting elected. Most people simply want to be actually heard and believe that someone has their interests at heart. It’s kind of simple when it comes down to it.
Thank you!
WE ARE NOT INTIMIDATED!!
WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER!!
SAVE AMERICA and DEMOCRACY!!
VOTE 'EM ALL OUT!!
THEN LOCK 'EM ALL UP!!
I've found like minded people here on Substack. It's how I found you, Jack. Lucky Us 🍀 and will reStack ASAP 💯👍
You're so prolific that I can't keep up! But I'm always happy when I take the time to read an article, rummage around on the site to make the algorithm happy, and maybe drop a comment. This article is gold!
I have more friends at 75 than I've had for my whole life. I have all the individual friends collected over a lifetime, plus family, plus lots of like-minded people from the Red Cross and my church. It's a gift at any age, and especially at this age.
Thank Jack!! This series, for me, is a little like a really good friend asking if they can share some observations and then gently pulling no punches.
If we’re honest with ourselves, I’m guessing we know at least a little of what you’re putting down and have forgotten, think we don’t have time, maybe it doesn’t matter if I really do or don’t…. any number of ‘things’…. doesn’t matter what or which. What does matter is the clarity and, in many cases, the utter simplicity of steps to take, ways to look at things.
It reminds of a knotty programming issue I had a million years ago. I turned myself inside out trying to solve it, finally went to the boss and said help! He looked at it, thought for about 30 seconds and said just do whatever it was. It was so damn simple and I’d agonized over it for way too long….
I see you as having a way to cut through the bullshit and get to the chase that we all kind of need right now. In a word…. Invaluable.
With thanks and gratitude…..
Wow, loved this article. I have found myself closing myself off this past 18months. I need to rebuild! Thank You.
Love this! I moved to the Westside of my State and I have made a real effort to stay connected to my former neighbors and work colleagues. Lots of texts! It has been so helpful and fulfilling to stay connected. One of the techs I worked with called me the human bridge, I listened and kept judgement out of it. When we found common ground exchange of views became less contentious.
Tonight I am going to call a former neighbor as I promised him I would. Connections are so vital.
Table work added to the to do list!
This is such a great reminder and it comes on a day that is meaningful to me. My family is split and I sometimes feel hopeless but being reminded I do have “my people” is calming. The effort I spend trying to get somewhere with those who aren’t my people is just so senseless and exhausting. Once again thanks !