Hallelujah hallelujah! Thank you, Jack. This article was a balm. There have been many times when I’ve been extremely outraged, but the outrage was simply the fuel for the action that followed it.
This post reminds me of my life with my siblings. Spoiled Assholes.. whiny unemployed parasites.. constantly fighting with each other. I stay mute and watch.. the proverbial house could be burning down around them but they’d never pay attention.. their grievances are ALWAYS front and center. Getting offended is a waste of my time.. being mentally stable and aware and fully focused is what has kept me thriving.
Your family sounds like the one I grew up with. I am currently the only survivor of the family I was raised with and life is quieter now. My oldest son has those "poor me" attributes as he was greatly influenced by my ex and his parents. They spoiled him as the first grandchild. I am glad you broke free.
I have observed the 'poor me' attributes within my own family. It appears to be somewhat genetic, akin with 'victimhood personality disorder' and the negativity from individuals who display this behavior it is exhausting and depleting to be around. My daughter inherited this 'personality type' which is pervasive in my spouses family and sometimes I just can't believe that she is actually my child but she is. I just can't imagine going through life with the belief that everything that happens is a personal mark against them but that's how they think and it's a lot to deal with.
Agree. When drumpf came along I referred to my brother as a poor man's drumpf because the behaviors were identical. The final example of no self awareness was him driving 8 miles to a hospital as he was having a massive stroke and when he got there he could not speak or move in the car. How he did not kill who knows how many people is beyond me. He died in the hospital not being able to eat or speak or move and the estranged wife, an Rn refused tube feeding and said he would be a DNR.
Whoa! A miracle that he made it there without taking out anyone else. I am sorry that he passed and I am assuming at a relatively young age, the estranged wife sounds like a 'charmer'.
He was early 60’s and there was no chance of improvement and DNR was the correct choice. He cheated on both his wives. He caused fires in 3 different homes to collect insurance. The first one almost killed the first wife and her 2 kids. The house was wooden and burned to the ground. The second he left a pot with grease on the stove while he went to the airport to pick up the second wife and investors the fire department was there. It was a town house connected to other townhouses. His comment to her was you got a new kitchen. The last was a flood sorry not fire to get new floors in his condo that was 2 stories. He left the upstairs faucet for the washer on. He drained my mom of her savings on a regular basis. I had to get a restraining order because of threats he made to me.
I have a brother that inherited all the bad genes too, caused all sorts of issues for my parents. Sounds like your brother created and left a lot of 'baggage' and the good Lord decided it was his time to go.
Thank you Teri and Gail.. being the youngest of the 6 and I work for a living is just so foreign to my siblings.. we had different Dad’s.. my Mother was the enabler.. she always gave them whatever they wanted just so they’d leave her alone.. never worked.. they just kept coming back. My Dad had enough said no more and then all hell broke loose.. he stuck to his guns.. and she would try and sneak funds to them.. he threatened divorce and she backed down.. he died in ‘96 and my brother kidnapped her in 2000 and took her back to Hawai’i haven’t seen her since.. it’s been 26 years.. my kids take care of her 2 weeks a year when my sister and her fam want to go on vacation. My nephew takes care of grandma full time and I’m thankful for him. She has full blown Alzheimer’s. And she defined herself by her mind.. she was a brilliant chemist and my parents worked with the government. I find it karmic that her mind is gone because of the choices she made..
Sometimes we get to see Karma before die. Tere are so many like us who have persevered and survived when others would crumble. All of you are strong women or you would not be here with Jack. We are truth seekers and want our country to survive like we have.
Honestly, I can’t love this post enough. I am soooo tired of the outraged, the name-callers, and all the performative righteousness. Enough already! Clutching one’s pearls at every offensive remark does nothing to advance the cause of justice, it only gives the opposition a chance to “own the libs.”
Truth in that! Taking offense over every little thing is a zero win situation. We see it in our politics, I have seen it in my work place. A steady, calm,rational approach tends to lead to better outcomes, allowing for relationship building. It is hard not to be outraged by what is happening around us but, the hand wringing is not what will see us through. Most of us are more resilient then any of us thinks. #Holdfast
They need to unite and focus on the dire threats to our nation posed by the obvious culprits..i stead of infighting with each other while the house burns to the ground.
I’ve found the older I get, the more resilient I seem to become…I know what I have power over, and while I may fret for a while, I soon move on and keep going…kinda’ like the old Timex watch ads…”takes a licking and keeps on ticking!”
Jack is correct that the party most easily baited is the party most easily defeated. File the date. The Civil Rights Movement did not win by making its opponents feel the weight of its outrage. It won by making them feel the weight of its discipline. Note which movements history remembers — not the ones most offended by what was done to them, but the ones most committed to what they intended to do next.
There is a second mechanism worth naming. Outrage at scale becomes noise. Television news discovered this decades ago — when every story arrives at the same volume, no single story lands. The same principle now governs the political information environment. When a new scandal breaks every eighteen hours, the previous one does not deepen. It dissolves. This is not an accident. Note which side benefits from a news cycle that moves too fast to accumulate meaning. The answer is consistent. The side with the most to hide prefers a public that cannot hold two thoughts across a week.
File the date when the conversation shifted from the price of insulin to the composition of a middle school volleyball roster. Note what changed and what didn’t. The cost of groceries did not change. The mortgage did not change. The medical bill on the kitchen table did not change. What changed was where the argument was being held. A voter who arrives at the polls consumed primarily by the theoretical possibility that a transgender girl might compete on a team in a school they have never visited, in a district they do not live in, in a sport their own child does not play — that voter is not responding to lived experience. They are responding to a script written for them by people who needed them not to think about their pharmacy receipt. Note the gap between the grievance and the probability. Note who benefits from that gap remaining invisible.
Jack is correct that resilience is the precondition for all of it. The reform movements that endured — the abolitionists, the suffragists, the labor organizers of the 1930s — each solved the same problem: how to remain morally serious without becoming strategically useless. Hold the principle. Release the reaction. Keep moving toward the outcome. The offense trap is not new. What is new is the infrastructure built to spring it faster, at greater scale, with greater precision. The algorithm did not invent outrage bait. It industrialized it. The question heading into November is not whether Democrats will encounter it. They will, daily, by design. The question is whether enough of them will have the discipline to walk past it on the way to something a voter can actually feel in their own life.
Jane...this is a remarkable comment, and I'd happily run it as its OWN piece.
The historical throughline is the part I want to sit with: the movements history remembers won on DISCIPLINE...not on the visibility of their wounds.
Abolitionists...suffragists...the labor organizers of the '30s...EACH solved the same problem; how to stay morally SERIOUS... without becoming strategically USELESS.
"Hold the principle, release the reaction" belongs on a wall somewhere.
Your point about the news cycle's velocity...is the one we should all be thinking about all week.
Jack … Thank you for this thoughtful comment. Your perspective is both insightful and grounded in history.
I’d love to read a longer piece from you. If any of the issues I’ve shared sparked further thoughts, please consider writing an article. I think many people would appreciate your ability to connect today’s challenges with lessons from the past.
Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts.
You really nailed what I’ve been thinking since election 2024. I wish all of the Democrats would read it. As I was reading, an interesting parable came to me. I used to attend Quaker, (Religious Society of Friends ) meetings when I lived where they had them. Quakers are known for being anti-violence, but also for their resilience, strength, honesty, and tenacity. A parable was related at one of our meetings: “Long ago, a Quaker who lived out in the country with his family, was awakened one night by a noise downstairs. A thief had broken into their home. The Quaker, rifle loaded, came to the top of the stairs and said, “ I would not harm thee, but thou standeth in the place where I am about to shoot.” The thief left.
I find my mind went directly to Obama when you were describing how Dems need to be. If anyone ever took the high road it was him. He still keeps saying the same things but not sure the Dems are listening. If they do not address the true problems and forget their touchy egos we will have less of a chance. The kitchen table issues need to be front and center.
Jack, this is an incredible piece.. something I hadn’t really considered. Pretty early on and as I kept reading, one name kept popping into my head… before I go on I’ll just state that right now I can’t come up with an answer to your question… I wish I could and I’ll keep watching and thinking and maybe something will come clear to me….
Now… Barack Obama… and also the woman… Michelle Obama.. who stood by his side while they both endured so much criticism and did so without letting it destroy them or keep them from pushing on. Had Obama not been incredibly resilient he would never have even made it to the White House… and all through those two terms… he/they endured.
Look at the way they’re still treated. Did Michelle fall apart when that UFC fighter called her a man? Oh, I’m sure in private they both had feelings about it but did it show in public? No! Just the opposite. Throughout his time in office.. and to this day… Obama was the picture of presidential… steady.. calm.. intelligent.. effective and resilient… and he handled it all with grace and even humor.. as did Michelle. Had they not, he would not have won a second term. We need more of this.
I guess I thought of him… both of them because Trump tried everything he could muster to break him and none of it worked.. and to this day he’s still the one man who bothers Trump the most.
Also, because he was our first black president and not everyone was happy about that. He, in my opinion, was a good president… not perfect but none of them are… But the one thing that’s hard to deny is that he’s resilient and it served him.. and all of us.. very well.
Thank you for this, Jack. Definitely food for thought.
I never make myself miserable over things I can not control.
That's a powerful way to live, E. Jean.
The line between what we can control...and...what we can't...is where so much peace gets won or lost.
Thanks for being here and for sharing that! It's a good reminder for all of us.
-Jack
Hallelujah hallelujah! Thank you, Jack. This article was a balm. There have been many times when I’ve been extremely outraged, but the outrage was simply the fuel for the action that followed it.
Alexis...that's the distinction that matters!
Outrage that powers action versus outrage that just spins in place. You clearly know the difference...and...you've put it better than I did.
So glad this one landed for you. Thank you for reading.
-Jack
Thx Jack. I’ve got some pretty gnarly stories on outrage and action. Maybe I’ll write them down.
😘
This post reminds me of my life with my siblings. Spoiled Assholes.. whiny unemployed parasites.. constantly fighting with each other. I stay mute and watch.. the proverbial house could be burning down around them but they’d never pay attention.. their grievances are ALWAYS front and center. Getting offended is a waste of my time.. being mentally stable and aware and fully focused is what has kept me thriving.
Morgan...there's a real strength in being the one who stays QUIET... and watches ...while everyone else...is consumed by their own grievances.
That kind of self-possession isn't easy when it's family... the people who can push EVERY button.
Sounds like you figured out early...that their chaos doesn't have to become yours.
Thanks for sharing this, Morgan.
-Jack
You have a family I am also familiar with lol
I’m sorry Melinda.. but we’ve got each other here on Substack..🤙🏽🫶🏽🤙🏽
Your family sounds like the one I grew up with. I am currently the only survivor of the family I was raised with and life is quieter now. My oldest son has those "poor me" attributes as he was greatly influenced by my ex and his parents. They spoiled him as the first grandchild. I am glad you broke free.
I have observed the 'poor me' attributes within my own family. It appears to be somewhat genetic, akin with 'victimhood personality disorder' and the negativity from individuals who display this behavior it is exhausting and depleting to be around. My daughter inherited this 'personality type' which is pervasive in my spouses family and sometimes I just can't believe that she is actually my child but she is. I just can't imagine going through life with the belief that everything that happens is a personal mark against them but that's how they think and it's a lot to deal with.
Agree. When drumpf came along I referred to my brother as a poor man's drumpf because the behaviors were identical. The final example of no self awareness was him driving 8 miles to a hospital as he was having a massive stroke and when he got there he could not speak or move in the car. How he did not kill who knows how many people is beyond me. He died in the hospital not being able to eat or speak or move and the estranged wife, an Rn refused tube feeding and said he would be a DNR.
Whoa! A miracle that he made it there without taking out anyone else. I am sorry that he passed and I am assuming at a relatively young age, the estranged wife sounds like a 'charmer'.
He was early 60’s and there was no chance of improvement and DNR was the correct choice. He cheated on both his wives. He caused fires in 3 different homes to collect insurance. The first one almost killed the first wife and her 2 kids. The house was wooden and burned to the ground. The second he left a pot with grease on the stove while he went to the airport to pick up the second wife and investors the fire department was there. It was a town house connected to other townhouses. His comment to her was you got a new kitchen. The last was a flood sorry not fire to get new floors in his condo that was 2 stories. He left the upstairs faucet for the washer on. He drained my mom of her savings on a regular basis. I had to get a restraining order because of threats he made to me.
I have a brother that inherited all the bad genes too, caused all sorts of issues for my parents. Sounds like your brother created and left a lot of 'baggage' and the good Lord decided it was his time to go.
Thank you Teri and Gail.. being the youngest of the 6 and I work for a living is just so foreign to my siblings.. we had different Dad’s.. my Mother was the enabler.. she always gave them whatever they wanted just so they’d leave her alone.. never worked.. they just kept coming back. My Dad had enough said no more and then all hell broke loose.. he stuck to his guns.. and she would try and sneak funds to them.. he threatened divorce and she backed down.. he died in ‘96 and my brother kidnapped her in 2000 and took her back to Hawai’i haven’t seen her since.. it’s been 26 years.. my kids take care of her 2 weeks a year when my sister and her fam want to go on vacation. My nephew takes care of grandma full time and I’m thankful for him. She has full blown Alzheimer’s. And she defined herself by her mind.. she was a brilliant chemist and my parents worked with the government. I find it karmic that her mind is gone because of the choices she made..
Sometimes we get to see Karma before die. Tere are so many like us who have persevered and survived when others would crumble. All of you are strong women or you would not be here with Jack. We are truth seekers and want our country to survive like we have.
TRUTH 🙌🏽🤙🏽🙌🏽
Honestly, I can’t love this post enough. I am soooo tired of the outraged, the name-callers, and all the performative righteousness. Enough already! Clutching one’s pearls at every offensive remark does nothing to advance the cause of justice, it only gives the opposition a chance to “own the libs.”
Susan...right there with you.
The pearl-clutching reflex is so reliable...that it's practically a strategy you can run against...which is the trap.
It feels righteous in the moment...and...accomplishes nothing it claims to.
Appreciate you reading...AND...for putting it so sharply!
-Jack
And that’s just GOTTA cramp those poor li’l fisties!! YOUCH!
One thing came to mind:
Don’t get angry.
Get even.
Randy...especially when getting even...involves winning elections!
-Jack
Seems to be catching on. Finally.
Truth in that! Taking offense over every little thing is a zero win situation. We see it in our politics, I have seen it in my work place. A steady, calm,rational approach tends to lead to better outcomes, allowing for relationship building. It is hard not to be outraged by what is happening around us but, the hand wringing is not what will see us through. Most of us are more resilient then any of us thinks. #Holdfast
Kristine..."Most of us are more resilient than any of us thinks"...that's the ENTIRE thing right there.
The steady...calm approach isn't passivity...it's what actually leaves room to BUILD something.
You've seen it play out in real settings...which is worth more than ANY theory.
Thank you for reading.
#Holdfast
-Jack
They need to unite and focus on the dire threats to our nation posed by the obvious culprits..i stead of infighting with each other while the house burns to the ground.
Sher'...that's the frustration, isn't it?!
ENERGY...that could be aimed at the REAL threats...gets spent on circular firing squads instead.
The infighting is almost a luxury when the stakes are this damn high.
Thanks for reading and for cutting straight to it.
-Jack
As my kids say “… Truth!!!!”
They're on the mark, Melinda!
-Jack
Great observations! The latest honey pot of outrage is over Platner.
#HoldFast
Thank you, Robert!
-Jack
I’ve found the older I get, the more resilient I seem to become…I know what I have power over, and while I may fret for a while, I soon move on and keep going…kinda’ like the old Timex watch ads…”takes a licking and keeps on ticking!”
Christie...that tracks with everything I believe; resilience isn't something you're born with so much...as something you ACCUMULATE.
You've simply been knocked around enough to know which hits actually matter...and which ones pass.
The fretting is allowed; it's the "soon move on and keep going" that does the work.
Takes a licking, indeed!
Thanks for being here, Christie.
-Jack
Good for you! 👏👏👏
Steady as she goes 💙❗
Steady as she goes is THE mindset, Karen. FULL speed ahead!
-Jack
Jack is correct that the party most easily baited is the party most easily defeated. File the date. The Civil Rights Movement did not win by making its opponents feel the weight of its outrage. It won by making them feel the weight of its discipline. Note which movements history remembers — not the ones most offended by what was done to them, but the ones most committed to what they intended to do next.
There is a second mechanism worth naming. Outrage at scale becomes noise. Television news discovered this decades ago — when every story arrives at the same volume, no single story lands. The same principle now governs the political information environment. When a new scandal breaks every eighteen hours, the previous one does not deepen. It dissolves. This is not an accident. Note which side benefits from a news cycle that moves too fast to accumulate meaning. The answer is consistent. The side with the most to hide prefers a public that cannot hold two thoughts across a week.
File the date when the conversation shifted from the price of insulin to the composition of a middle school volleyball roster. Note what changed and what didn’t. The cost of groceries did not change. The mortgage did not change. The medical bill on the kitchen table did not change. What changed was where the argument was being held. A voter who arrives at the polls consumed primarily by the theoretical possibility that a transgender girl might compete on a team in a school they have never visited, in a district they do not live in, in a sport their own child does not play — that voter is not responding to lived experience. They are responding to a script written for them by people who needed them not to think about their pharmacy receipt. Note the gap between the grievance and the probability. Note who benefits from that gap remaining invisible.
Jack is correct that resilience is the precondition for all of it. The reform movements that endured — the abolitionists, the suffragists, the labor organizers of the 1930s — each solved the same problem: how to remain morally serious without becoming strategically useless. Hold the principle. Release the reaction. Keep moving toward the outcome. The offense trap is not new. What is new is the infrastructure built to spring it faster, at greater scale, with greater precision. The algorithm did not invent outrage bait. It industrialized it. The question heading into November is not whether Democrats will encounter it. They will, daily, by design. The question is whether enough of them will have the discipline to walk past it on the way to something a voter can actually feel in their own life.
#HOLDFAST
Jane...this is a remarkable comment, and I'd happily run it as its OWN piece.
The historical throughline is the part I want to sit with: the movements history remembers won on DISCIPLINE...not on the visibility of their wounds.
Abolitionists...suffragists...the labor organizers of the '30s...EACH solved the same problem; how to stay morally SERIOUS... without becoming strategically USELESS.
"Hold the principle, release the reaction" belongs on a wall somewhere.
Your point about the news cycle's velocity...is the one we should all be thinking about all week.
Thank you for taking the time to write it!
-Jack
Jack … Thank you for this thoughtful comment. Your perspective is both insightful and grounded in history.
I’d love to read a longer piece from you. If any of the issues I’ve shared sparked further thoughts, please consider writing an article. I think many people would appreciate your ability to connect today’s challenges with lessons from the past.
Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts.
You really nailed what I’ve been thinking since election 2024. I wish all of the Democrats would read it. As I was reading, an interesting parable came to me. I used to attend Quaker, (Religious Society of Friends ) meetings when I lived where they had them. Quakers are known for being anti-violence, but also for their resilience, strength, honesty, and tenacity. A parable was related at one of our meetings: “Long ago, a Quaker who lived out in the country with his family, was awakened one night by a noise downstairs. A thief had broken into their home. The Quaker, rifle loaded, came to the top of the stairs and said, “ I would not harm thee, but thou standeth in the place where I am about to shoot.” The thief left.
Sara..what a perfect parable...thank you for it.
That's the whole thing, isn't it?
Not a threat...not a performance...not a raised voice. Just calm...total clarity...about where he stood...and what would follow.
The thief left because he understood he was dealing with RESOLVE...not rage.
That distinction...firmness WITHOUT aggression...strength WITHOUT spectacle...is exactly what I was reaching for.
The Quakers seem to have understood it for centuries!
I'm grateful you shared this, Sara.
-Jack
You are correct!
I find my mind went directly to Obama when you were describing how Dems need to be. If anyone ever took the high road it was him. He still keeps saying the same things but not sure the Dems are listening. If they do not address the true problems and forget their touchy egos we will have less of a chance. The kitchen table issues need to be front and center.
#HOLDFAST
Teri
Teri...Obama is a fair example of the temperament.
The refusal to be baited...the long game over the satisfying outburst.
Though...I'd add that the high road ONLY works when it's paired with delivering something people can feel.
That's the piece you put your finger on: the kitchen-table issues...have to be FRONT AND CENTER....or the calm just reads as detachment.
Egos are the enemy of that. The voter at the kitchen table doesn't care who gets credit.
Thank you for reading, and for this!
#HOLDFAST
-Jack
Amen to all of this!
Jack, this is an incredible piece.. something I hadn’t really considered. Pretty early on and as I kept reading, one name kept popping into my head… before I go on I’ll just state that right now I can’t come up with an answer to your question… I wish I could and I’ll keep watching and thinking and maybe something will come clear to me….
Now… Barack Obama… and also the woman… Michelle Obama.. who stood by his side while they both endured so much criticism and did so without letting it destroy them or keep them from pushing on. Had Obama not been incredibly resilient he would never have even made it to the White House… and all through those two terms… he/they endured.
Look at the way they’re still treated. Did Michelle fall apart when that UFC fighter called her a man? Oh, I’m sure in private they both had feelings about it but did it show in public? No! Just the opposite. Throughout his time in office.. and to this day… Obama was the picture of presidential… steady.. calm.. intelligent.. effective and resilient… and he handled it all with grace and even humor.. as did Michelle. Had they not, he would not have won a second term. We need more of this.
I guess I thought of him… both of them because Trump tried everything he could muster to break him and none of it worked.. and to this day he’s still the one man who bothers Trump the most.
Also, because he was our first black president and not everyone was happy about that. He, in my opinion, was a good president… not perfect but none of them are… But the one thing that’s hard to deny is that he’s resilient and it served him.. and all of us.. very well.
Thank you for this, Jack. Definitely food for thought.
#Holdfast
~Susan