It’s always crystal clear to me when someone is braggadocious that they’re overcompensating for some shortcoming, sense of inferiority. I hope your next piece tells us how we can get rid of the pestilence. Bless you my brother.
You nailed it, Audrey. The louder the bragging...the deeper the wound underneath. And yes...next piece goes straight at the heart of that question. Not just how to spot the pestilence...but how to starve it...block it...and keep it from ever getting a foothold in your life again. Appreciate you!
Jack (I had attached this to the wrong post) - excellent description. I’ve been a psychiatrist for 43 years (I saw some of the people you reference lecture IRL). My specialty has been personality disorders throughout my career. I wrote Ch 8 of “Dangerous Case..). If you ever want to pick my brain, feel free to contact me (I would not expect anything in return). Excellent work!
I grew up with a brother that was a narcissist and he ran over women much like drumpf has. He conned mom out of money with the poor me act. She always felt sorry for me for him and made all the excuses for why....I saw right thru that and tried to tell her it was not helping him. ...That too fell on deaf ears. His whole life was about him. I called him "the poor mans drumpf". He died a sad and lonely life about a year after mom died. Jack everything write it as perfect description of him.
That’s a hard road to grow up on, Teri...and you saw the pattern long before anyone else would acknowledge it. That “poor me” act is the classic narcissistic survival script...guilt...pity... manipulation...repeat.
And you’re right… enabling doesn’t save them...it cements them. I’m sorry you had to live through that...but I’m glad the words landed the way they did. Sometimes the most painful truth is also the most accurate mirror.
Life was good when my WW II paraplegic vet dad was alive but as what happens sometimes when you lose a parent things change drastically. Mom was not able to deal and I got married right out of high school instead of using my full tide thru dad’s benefits to college for 6 years. I had 2 kids and got divorced just short of 10 yrs later. Work my way to independence and college events becoming an RN after getting a teaching degree, masters in education and then going back after there were shootings at a nearby high school ( early 1980’s) to be a nurse. Life is a challenge and you have to keep putting one foot in front of another. Thank you for your kind comments
I think that's wrong. It's what we're all born with, yes. But to this I dare to add that we never lose it. It's hard-wired, firmware, adamantine. In many assholes it's been merely obscured, and with enough windex and elbow grease some become able to see others thru that lens again, even if only just well enough to avoid running them over. I think narcissists are quite different. In them empathy is a crystal clear hi res lens on a highly suppressed sniper rifle.
This is a powerful way to frame it, Buck...and you’re right about one thing: empathy isn’t “gone” in narcissists. It’s not a missing part…it’s a weaponized part. They can see your feelings with sniper-level precision...but they use that clarity to protect the mask...not build connection. The empathy isn’t absent...it’s inverted. And that inversion is what makes them so dangerous.
I married a narcissist. His true colors showed after we got married. His manipulative tactics didn’t work on me. He underestimated my strength & independence. I believe he thought I loved him enough, because of the commitment we made to each other, that I would tolerate the emotional & verbal abuse. He was dead ass wrong. I cut him out of my life. So much happier without him.
Having read Mary Trump’s book about growing up in that family, she pretty much described how Donald was raised and how he developed his narcissism. Spot on.
I feel like ET just put his finger to my heart and said Oww. I grew up thinking Mom loved my older brother more than me. She would cut him slack and make excuses for things he’d do and say up until the last two years of her almost 98 year life. From then until her dying day, she’d tell me he was a liar and not to trust him. Talk about a mind fuck. She was a well respected educator & I kept thinking how did she not know? It was the perfect storm. It dawned on me that she must have thought if she loved him more he would be change. Thank you, Jack. I can’t wait for the subscriber follow up. 💜
It’s always crystal clear to me when someone is braggadocious that they’re overcompensating for some shortcoming, sense of inferiority. I hope your next piece tells us how we can get rid of the pestilence. Bless you my brother.
You nailed it, Audrey. The louder the bragging...the deeper the wound underneath. And yes...next piece goes straight at the heart of that question. Not just how to spot the pestilence...but how to starve it...block it...and keep it from ever getting a foothold in your life again. Appreciate you!
-Jack
You da mann, my brother! THIS is the time you came to help us navigate! A brilliant job!
It’s as if God saw a pile of shit and decided to try her hand at making a human
Lol...that works, too. ;)
-Jack
Had to make God a She because of all the shit he’s done to women his entire life. Fair is fair you bastard trump.
🤣🤣👍
My comment was not really on point to your text, I just got fucking carried away. Sorry! Not sorry!☠️
Jack (I had attached this to the wrong post) - excellent description. I’ve been a psychiatrist for 43 years (I saw some of the people you reference lecture IRL). My specialty has been personality disorders throughout my career. I wrote Ch 8 of “Dangerous Case..). If you ever want to pick my brain, feel free to contact me (I would not expect anything in return). Excellent work!
I grew up with a brother that was a narcissist and he ran over women much like drumpf has. He conned mom out of money with the poor me act. She always felt sorry for me for him and made all the excuses for why....I saw right thru that and tried to tell her it was not helping him. ...That too fell on deaf ears. His whole life was about him. I called him "the poor mans drumpf". He died a sad and lonely life about a year after mom died. Jack everything write it as perfect description of him.
That’s a hard road to grow up on, Teri...and you saw the pattern long before anyone else would acknowledge it. That “poor me” act is the classic narcissistic survival script...guilt...pity... manipulation...repeat.
And you’re right… enabling doesn’t save them...it cements them. I’m sorry you had to live through that...but I’m glad the words landed the way they did. Sometimes the most painful truth is also the most accurate mirror.
-Jack
Life was good when my WW II paraplegic vet dad was alive but as what happens sometimes when you lose a parent things change drastically. Mom was not able to deal and I got married right out of high school instead of using my full tide thru dad’s benefits to college for 6 years. I had 2 kids and got divorced just short of 10 yrs later. Work my way to independence and college events becoming an RN after getting a teaching degree, masters in education and then going back after there were shootings at a nearby high school ( early 1980’s) to be a nurse. Life is a challenge and you have to keep putting one foot in front of another. Thank you for your kind comments
Psychology says narcissists lack empathy
I think that's wrong. It's what we're all born with, yes. But to this I dare to add that we never lose it. It's hard-wired, firmware, adamantine. In many assholes it's been merely obscured, and with enough windex and elbow grease some become able to see others thru that lens again, even if only just well enough to avoid running them over. I think narcissists are quite different. In them empathy is a crystal clear hi res lens on a highly suppressed sniper rifle.
This is a powerful way to frame it, Buck...and you’re right about one thing: empathy isn’t “gone” in narcissists. It’s not a missing part…it’s a weaponized part. They can see your feelings with sniper-level precision...but they use that clarity to protect the mask...not build connection. The empathy isn’t absent...it’s inverted. And that inversion is what makes them so dangerous.
-Jack
Yes, exactly
I married a narcissist. His true colors showed after we got married. His manipulative tactics didn’t work on me. He underestimated my strength & independence. I believe he thought I loved him enough, because of the commitment we made to each other, that I would tolerate the emotional & verbal abuse. He was dead ass wrong. I cut him out of my life. So much happier without him.
Having read Mary Trump’s book about growing up in that family, she pretty much described how Donald was raised and how he developed his narcissism. Spot on.
Yes, Mary did explain it very well with examples.
I feel like ET just put his finger to my heart and said Oww. I grew up thinking Mom loved my older brother more than me. She would cut him slack and make excuses for things he’d do and say up until the last two years of her almost 98 year life. From then until her dying day, she’d tell me he was a liar and not to trust him. Talk about a mind fuck. She was a well respected educator & I kept thinking how did she not know? It was the perfect storm. It dawned on me that she must have thought if she loved him more he would be change. Thank you, Jack. I can’t wait for the subscriber follow up. 💜
Jack, thank you for these valuable insights, the explanations, and the included sources. I look forward to your next part.
Great analysis. Thank you.
I just upgraded to paid subscriber and am looking forward to reading “the rest of the story”.