The High Cost of Ignoring Warning Signs: A Story About Murder, Denial, and America’s Political Blindness
The Jack Hopkins Now Newsletter #330
We live in a world that doesn’t lack for signs — it lacks for people willing to face them.
Every tragedy leaves a trail. And while we often obsess over the final act — the shocking moment, the irreversible damage — we rarely sit still long enough to study the string of decision points that led us there.
But that’s where the most important lessons are hiding: in the months, years, and moments when something still could have been done.
This Past Week, a Former Client of Mine was Murdered. He Was 46 Years Old.
By every outward appearance, he was living a normal life. But he had also been in a six-year affair with a married woman — a dangerous and ultimately deadly decision.
The woman’s husband…someone my wife happened to have worked with years ago, had known about the affair for some time.
He wasn’t okay with it, but he was emotionally invested in saving his marriage.
So he tolerated the intolerable. Quietly. Begrudgingly. And not without warning. Over the years, he had threatened the man involved with his wife multiple times.
And then came the day that should have set off alarms for anyone paying attention:
Friday, May 10. That morning, the husband lost his job. That afternoon, he was served divorce papers. By that evening, he was spiraling — angry, heartbroken…unhinged.
And he suspected exactly where his wife was.
Fueled by betrayal and rage…he drove 90 miles to confront them.
The Setup to a Murder
When he arrived at the house — less than a mile from mine — he was able to get into the garage from an outside door that was likely unlocked. His wife’s car was inside.
Using a spare key fob…he triggered the door locks on her car.
Whether by accident or design…the sound drew attention inside the house. Her keys were sitting on the kitchen counter…so she knew something was wrong.
Her lover opened the door to the garage to investigate.
He was shot instantly — right through the eye. Four more shots followed…into his chest. He never had a chance.
Then the husband moved inside the house. He tried to kill his wife, too. He nearly succeeded. But his gun jammed…and she fled through the front door and called 911.
What followed was the tail end of a horror film: the husband fled toward Iowa, intent on killing her sister — who had allegedly lied for her sister to the husband about the affair she was involved in and had even been at the house with her sister…the week before.
It was a tangled mess.
He was intercepted after a police chase; stop strips were deployed…and when he realized it was over…he pulled his car to the shoulder and shot himself in the head.
Three lives destroyed. Many more (children and other family members) shattered.
This Isn’t About “Blame” — It’s About Decision Points
Let me be clear: the husband was a murderer. There is no justification for what he did. No amount of emotional pain excuses the decision to end another human being’s life. That much is black and white.
But the reason I’m sharing this story isn’t to cast blame on the victim…or the wife…or anyone in particular. I’m sharing it because this entire tragedy is drenched in ignored warning signs — red flags that were visible…obvious…and escalating for years.
And this is not a gender issue. It’s not a morality tale about infidelity.
This is about how human beings ignore consequences they don’t want to face. How we keep pretending things will work out…even when all the signs scream otherwise.
In this case:
The lover ignored threats that were made multiple times.
The wife ignored a pattern of volatility and red flags about her husband’s mental state.
The sister enabled the deception.
And on the night of the murder…when one of the couple’s children tried to call their mother to warn her — she didn’t answer…because she had developed a habit of ignoring her kids' calls when she was with her lover.
Had she answered that call…there’s a good chance at least one life would have been saved. Possibly two.
That’s not blaming her. That’s a factual chain of cause and effect. And it's how we should be thinking about tragedy: What decision points were missed? What red flags went unnoticed — or worse…deliberately ignored?
Because once you begin looking at life this way…you realize: This story isn’t just about one family. This story is a metaphor for America.
Donald Trump and the National Refusal to See
If you look at Donald Trump’s political rise — and the fervent support he continues to enjoy — what you see isn’t strength or clarity. You see a staggering amount of willful blindness.
You see tens of millions of people who have spent the better part of eight years ignoring flashing warning signs:
His admiration for autocrats
His attacks on the press and democratic institutions
His criminal indictments
His calls for violence and retribution
His lies — thousands upon thousands of them
His attempt to overturn a democratic election and remain in power illegally
And still, his supporters say:
"That’s not what he meant."
"That’s just Trump being Trump."
"They’re all out to get him."
That is not critical thinking. That is the emotional denial of people unwilling to deal with the consequences of what they've supported.
Just like the man who kept dating a married woman despite escalating threats. Just like the wife who ignored signs of growing rage.
Just like the sister who thought her lies would stay small and harmless. They all had chances to stop. They all had reasons to act. And they all did nothing.
Until it was too late.
We Are In Our National “Friday” Moment
The day the husband lost his job and got the divorce papers — that was the breaking point. That’s when the train had no brakes left.
And that’s where we are as a country.
Trump is now openly promising political revenge.
He’s talking about military tribunals for journalists and enemies.
He says he’ll “terminate” the Constitution if it gets in his way.
And what are those who voted for Trump doing?
Laughing. Cheering. Shrugging it off.
Just like those who ignored the signs in this murder story.
We Don’t Need to Blame — We Need to Learn
This article isn’t about guilt. It’s about accountability.
It’s about recognizing that every crisis is preceded by moments when someone could have made a better decision.
That’s what prevention is about. That’s what emotional maturity is about. That’s what real leadership — and real citizenship — is about.
And it’s what millions of Trump supporters have refused to engage in.
Final Thought: Don’t Be the One Who Says “We Couldn’t Have Known”
Because we do know.
Just like everyone in that deadly love triangle knew something terrible was coming — and chose to look away — America is sitting in a powder keg…lighting matches… pretending everything will be fine.
But it won’t be. Not unless people wake up…face the truth…and make better decisions while they still can.
The question isn’t whether the signs are there.
The question is: What can be done to get people to stop pretending you don’t see them?
I don’t have clear answers to that question. I do, however, have some ideas…and I will present those…soon.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Best,
Jack