To me, there are few rules in life etched in stone. One of those few is ‘don’t speak ill of the dead’. Yet another violation, intentionally heinous, by the evil one.
Such a tragic loss of two beautiful people. Our “supposed” leader lacks empathy, compassion, & values. His response to their horrific deaths is beyond disgusting. I will honor them by watching the great movies they created. 🩷
Lori R, that's a perfect way to honor them. While I watched most every episode of "All in The Family" during its run...and have seen several Reiner movies...I have never seen "When Harry Met Sally."
I'll be watching it one evening this week. I'm confident...I won't be alone.
I’ve traditionally watched When Harry Met Sally at home on New Year’s Eve, starting around 10:15 p.m. I get all of their celebrations to the end of the movie, right before its time for my realtime New Year’s countdown. It’s going to hit hard watching it this year.
I wrote about this elsewhere, saying how marvelous that arguably the movie’s most famous line gets voiced by Rob’s mother. Yes, I know Billy coined the phrase. But Estelle says it!
Thank you Jack for a lovely tribute to a couple who tried to do so much to be one the side of right. We should say a prayer for the daughters for they will surely be facing a very tough emotional road ahead. Sending prayers for peace to their family.❤️🥰💕💙🙏🏻
You’re absolutely right; whatever else is said or written...the daughters are the ones now carrying the heaviest burden.
Losing parents is devastating under any circumstances. Losing them this way...in the glare of public attention...is something no one should have to endure.
A prayer for peace...privacy...and steadiness for them feels exactly right. And a reminder...to ourselves as much as anyone...that behind every public story are private lives...trying to survive unimaginable grief.
That instinct to pause...to pray...to center the family rather than the noise around them... that’s the side of right you’re talking about.
I am hopeful that when trump passes on to his just reward I will listen to my better angels and not say anything mean. I will admit that I have laughed at and reposted memes that make fun of that future event. But I may bookmark this so I will remember that no matter how hateful, evil and useless he is there are those who will mourn him. Grandchildren if no one else.
Sue...that’s a deeply honest thing to admit...and it says more about your conscience than any moment of laughter ever could.
Holding space for anger and restraint at the same time is hard. (I know ahead of time, I will struggle with this when his time comes.)
It’s human to feel relief...even grim humor...when someone you believe has caused real harm is gone. It’s also human, and harder...to remember that death ripples outward to people who didn’t choose any of it.
Children. Grandchildren. Families who inherit grief without inheriting guilt.
Frankly, if I'm going to lay it all out for you...my challenge will be that I have the same contempt for most of his family members...for their individual and collective roles in systematically attacking democracy. But...
Trust...that whatever you see from me when that time comes...will absolutely involve some level of restraint. Believe me, in my case...to not do so...would be to choose to show a side of ugliness that exists within me...that I'm not proud of.
Bookmarking this thought is wise. It’s a way of choosing your better angels in advance... knowing how raw the moment might feel when it comes. That’s not hypocrisy. That’s foresight.
You’re not obligated to sanctify anyone.
But choosing not to add cruelty to the world..even toward someone you believe (for good reason) embodied it...is its own quiet form of resistance.
Once again, you have succinctly addressed a deeply important event in its most critical elements. I know the country is grieving, and yes, we're sad - its heartbreakingly sad. I'm more sad than disgusted, but disgusted to the core by trump's statement. And worried. To throw out TDS is at this time reckless, in that to all his supporters are there some who hear that as somehow making it less than tragic? Over the last year this administration has been demonizing democrats which has widened the divide. This new "syndrome" only furthers the "less than" idea.
Lori...you’re putting your finger on something that really matters...and you’re right to be worried.
Grief and disgust can coexist...and in moments like this...the sadness often runs deeper than the anger. What makes Trump’s statement so disturbing isn’t just its tone...it’s the signal it sends. When he throws out “TDS” in the wake of real tragedy...it doesn’t merely deflect responsibility...or insult critics...it downgrades the gravity of the loss itself.
Language like that...does social work. It tells supporters...implicitly...this doesn’t count the same. It frames empathy as weakness...grief as exaggeration...and moral concern as pathology.
That’s dangerous...because it creates permission structures...not necessarily to act violently...but to feel less...to dismiss suffering...to treat some lives as emotionally negotiable.
You’re also right about the longer arc. A year of sustained demonization primes people for exactly this moment. Once an out-group is framed as “less than,” every new label... “enemy,” “vermin,” now “syndrome” ...pushes the boundary a little further.
None of this happens in isolation.
That’s why your sadness is so appropriate. It’s the sadness of watching a country...lose not just lives...but shared moral ground. And naming that clearly ...without hysteria... without cruelty ...is one of the few ways to resist the slide.
Thank you for your post about this tragedy. Rob Reiner was a wonderful person in every way. He was also a hugely talented actor, director and producer and he and his wife Michelle, did not deserve to die this way.
I feel unbelievably sad about this and angry at what was posted by the unhinged man who put it out there on his Truth Social.
There has to be something that can be done to stop this from continuing!
As a career military officer of almost 30 years, I can attest to the military's respect for life. This may seem incongruous for an organization trained to "kill" the enemy in times of war, but it's not. Your military trains to stay strong to discourage our nation's enemies from going to war against us, not to promote it. As Jack points out, the commander-in-chief (not capitalized for a reason) has time and again chosen to desecrate that objective. In times of war, mistreating the dead or captured, makes us no better than our enemies. We treat those that violate this principle harshly. I note Lt Callie of My Lai "fame". II will miss Rob Reiner, especially for his performance in "Sleepless in Seattle".
It goes without saying that the violations the (vile) occupant of the White House never cease to amaze, well maybe not. Rob & Michele Singer Reiner's lives will serve to make people remember to be better people.
Thank you for saying so well what I felt when I heard Trump speak. My heart just breaks for the family, and then for a person to be so cruel. I had no words. But you did. Again, thank you.
Thank you Jack for articulating the grief and at the same time, the disgust, people of empathy, like those here, feel. As low as my opinion of orange blob was, it is now underground. The tragedy for this country is in calculable. My heart hurts for Rob and Michelle's family. My outrage at orange blob is seriously worss.
I didn’t serve but my dad did… uncles did… friends did and I think I understand what you mean. Not as deeply as you do certainly but I get it on some level. For me the initial emotion was shock… the New York Times emailed it to me so there was no… that can’t be. I was horrified. The second media outlet that emailed, mentioned it was believed that their son was the perpetrator. For a minute I couldn’t breathe. How does one process that? And I’m just a person who watched “All in the Family” as a teenager and then so many of the great movies that Rob made through the years. Their 24-year-old daughter found them. How will she ever get through that? My heart breaks for that family. All of them… including the son who for some reason we may never fully understand, did this. I know his history but still… and everywhere I turn there are interviews with Rob. One was with Rob and Nick together talking about his addiction and Rob talking about how much he and Michele loved him. It’s soul crushing. Then… the next day it comes. The inevitable post from Trump. He had an opportunity to comfort the nation he’s supposed to serve but no… of course not. It was even worse than I expected and then he doubled down. There is no president who has ever occupied the oval who would have ever said one unkind word in that moment. Not one….Ever… It feels to me like he showed his lack of empathy and humanity more in this moment than any other since taking office… and it’s not just Democrats who feel it. MAGA is uncharacteristically silent from what I’ve seen. He’s a sick monster and almost everyone is
seeing it.
I know you’re sad Jack. I am too… deeply. Many of us are. The news seems to always be bad these days but this hit differently.
Lawrence O’Donnell had to get Ali Velshi to fill in last night. He was personal friends with the Reiners and knew he couldn’t talk about it. He looked like hell tonight, too, but managed to get his show done. He’s a newsperson with values and a heart. 💜👹
To me, there are few rules in life etched in stone. One of those few is ‘don’t speak ill of the dead’. Yet another violation, intentionally heinous, by the evil one.
Stated perfectly, Mary E. I agree...completely.
-Jack
Exactly.
Such a tragic loss of two beautiful people. Our “supposed” leader lacks empathy, compassion, & values. His response to their horrific deaths is beyond disgusting. I will honor them by watching the great movies they created. 🩷
Lori R, that's a perfect way to honor them. While I watched most every episode of "All in The Family" during its run...and have seen several Reiner movies...I have never seen "When Harry Met Sally."
I'll be watching it one evening this week. I'm confident...I won't be alone.
-Jack
I’ve traditionally watched When Harry Met Sally at home on New Year’s Eve, starting around 10:15 p.m. I get all of their celebrations to the end of the movie, right before its time for my realtime New Year’s countdown. It’s going to hit hard watching it this year.
I watched All in the family every week. “When Harry met Sally” is a great movie. I hope you enjoy it.
Thanks, Lori. I have a hunch...I will.:)
Rob’s mom was cast in the deli scene. She had one of the best lines in the movie. Enjoy!😊
Rob Reiner's mother is in that movie, sitting in the diner (she even has a speaking role but I won't spoil the movie by telling you what she says).
I wrote about this elsewhere, saying how marvelous that arguably the movie’s most famous line gets voiced by Rob’s mother. Yes, I know Billy coined the phrase. But Estelle says it!
You will love it. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen it.
Thank you Jack for a lovely tribute to a couple who tried to do so much to be one the side of right. We should say a prayer for the daughters for they will surely be facing a very tough emotional road ahead. Sending prayers for peace to their family.❤️🥰💕💙🙏🏻
Elizabeth...thank you for saying that.
You’re absolutely right; whatever else is said or written...the daughters are the ones now carrying the heaviest burden.
Losing parents is devastating under any circumstances. Losing them this way...in the glare of public attention...is something no one should have to endure.
A prayer for peace...privacy...and steadiness for them feels exactly right. And a reminder...to ourselves as much as anyone...that behind every public story are private lives...trying to survive unimaginable grief.
That instinct to pause...to pray...to center the family rather than the noise around them... that’s the side of right you’re talking about.
-Jack
And their other son, Jake.
And their son Jake Reiner, he was a reporter/newscaster in Houston for couple years not too far back.
I thought I wouldn't be surprised by anything that comes out of this guy's mouth, Jack, I was Wrong‼️😖
Karen, he does have that "knack" for being able to go even lower...and uglier than you thought likely. Such a hollow, empty...and sick little man.
-Jack
I am hopeful that when trump passes on to his just reward I will listen to my better angels and not say anything mean. I will admit that I have laughed at and reposted memes that make fun of that future event. But I may bookmark this so I will remember that no matter how hateful, evil and useless he is there are those who will mourn him. Grandchildren if no one else.
Sue
Sue...that’s a deeply honest thing to admit...and it says more about your conscience than any moment of laughter ever could.
Holding space for anger and restraint at the same time is hard. (I know ahead of time, I will struggle with this when his time comes.)
It’s human to feel relief...even grim humor...when someone you believe has caused real harm is gone. It’s also human, and harder...to remember that death ripples outward to people who didn’t choose any of it.
Children. Grandchildren. Families who inherit grief without inheriting guilt.
Frankly, if I'm going to lay it all out for you...my challenge will be that I have the same contempt for most of his family members...for their individual and collective roles in systematically attacking democracy. But...
Trust...that whatever you see from me when that time comes...will absolutely involve some level of restraint. Believe me, in my case...to not do so...would be to choose to show a side of ugliness that exists within me...that I'm not proud of.
Bookmarking this thought is wise. It’s a way of choosing your better angels in advance... knowing how raw the moment might feel when it comes. That’s not hypocrisy. That’s foresight.
You’re not obligated to sanctify anyone.
But choosing not to add cruelty to the world..even toward someone you believe (for good reason) embodied it...is its own quiet form of resistance.
That instinct you’re naming?
That’s how people stay human...in inhuman times.
-Jack
Once again, you have succinctly addressed a deeply important event in its most critical elements. I know the country is grieving, and yes, we're sad - its heartbreakingly sad. I'm more sad than disgusted, but disgusted to the core by trump's statement. And worried. To throw out TDS is at this time reckless, in that to all his supporters are there some who hear that as somehow making it less than tragic? Over the last year this administration has been demonizing democrats which has widened the divide. This new "syndrome" only furthers the "less than" idea.
Lori...you’re putting your finger on something that really matters...and you’re right to be worried.
Grief and disgust can coexist...and in moments like this...the sadness often runs deeper than the anger. What makes Trump’s statement so disturbing isn’t just its tone...it’s the signal it sends. When he throws out “TDS” in the wake of real tragedy...it doesn’t merely deflect responsibility...or insult critics...it downgrades the gravity of the loss itself.
Language like that...does social work. It tells supporters...implicitly...this doesn’t count the same. It frames empathy as weakness...grief as exaggeration...and moral concern as pathology.
That’s dangerous...because it creates permission structures...not necessarily to act violently...but to feel less...to dismiss suffering...to treat some lives as emotionally negotiable.
You’re also right about the longer arc. A year of sustained demonization primes people for exactly this moment. Once an out-group is framed as “less than,” every new label... “enemy,” “vermin,” now “syndrome” ...pushes the boundary a little further.
None of this happens in isolation.
That’s why your sadness is so appropriate. It’s the sadness of watching a country...lose not just lives...but shared moral ground. And naming that clearly ...without hysteria... without cruelty ...is one of the few ways to resist the slide.
Thank you for articulating it so precisely!
-Jack
On a personal note, my estranged son accused me of having TDS in one of his rants. It hit home in a visceral way.
Thank you for your post about this tragedy. Rob Reiner was a wonderful person in every way. He was also a hugely talented actor, director and producer and he and his wife Michelle, did not deserve to die this way.
I feel unbelievably sad about this and angry at what was posted by the unhinged man who put it out there on his Truth Social.
There has to be something that can be done to stop this from continuing!
One of the few Latin phrases I remember but perhaps the one best remembered:
“De mortuis nil nisi bonum dicendum est”- of the dead speak nothing but good.
A eulogy for the living.
As a career military officer of almost 30 years, I can attest to the military's respect for life. This may seem incongruous for an organization trained to "kill" the enemy in times of war, but it's not. Your military trains to stay strong to discourage our nation's enemies from going to war against us, not to promote it. As Jack points out, the commander-in-chief (not capitalized for a reason) has time and again chosen to desecrate that objective. In times of war, mistreating the dead or captured, makes us no better than our enemies. We treat those that violate this principle harshly. I note Lt Callie of My Lai "fame". II will miss Rob Reiner, especially for his performance in "Sleepless in Seattle".
It goes without saying that the violations the (vile) occupant of the White House never cease to amaze, well maybe not. Rob & Michele Singer Reiner's lives will serve to make people remember to be better people.
Thank you for saying so well what I felt when I heard Trump speak. My heart just breaks for the family, and then for a person to be so cruel. I had no words. But you did. Again, thank you.
No words … thank you for saying them for us.
tRump want oxygen. America being taunted as a dividing tool. Your right Jack we have to survive.
Thank you Jack for articulating the grief and at the same time, the disgust, people of empathy, like those here, feel. As low as my opinion of orange blob was, it is now underground. The tragedy for this country is in calculable. My heart hurts for Rob and Michelle's family. My outrage at orange blob is seriously worss.
I didn’t serve but my dad did… uncles did… friends did and I think I understand what you mean. Not as deeply as you do certainly but I get it on some level. For me the initial emotion was shock… the New York Times emailed it to me so there was no… that can’t be. I was horrified. The second media outlet that emailed, mentioned it was believed that their son was the perpetrator. For a minute I couldn’t breathe. How does one process that? And I’m just a person who watched “All in the Family” as a teenager and then so many of the great movies that Rob made through the years. Their 24-year-old daughter found them. How will she ever get through that? My heart breaks for that family. All of them… including the son who for some reason we may never fully understand, did this. I know his history but still… and everywhere I turn there are interviews with Rob. One was with Rob and Nick together talking about his addiction and Rob talking about how much he and Michele loved him. It’s soul crushing. Then… the next day it comes. The inevitable post from Trump. He had an opportunity to comfort the nation he’s supposed to serve but no… of course not. It was even worse than I expected and then he doubled down. There is no president who has ever occupied the oval who would have ever said one unkind word in that moment. Not one….Ever… It feels to me like he showed his lack of empathy and humanity more in this moment than any other since taking office… and it’s not just Democrats who feel it. MAGA is uncharacteristically silent from what I’ve seen. He’s a sick monster and almost everyone is
seeing it.
I know you’re sad Jack. I am too… deeply. Many of us are. The news seems to always be bad these days but this hit differently.
RIP Rob Reiner and Michele Singer Reiner.
You will be so missed by so many.
~Susan
Lawrence O’Donnell had to get Ali Velshi to fill in last night. He was personal friends with the Reiners and knew he couldn’t talk about it. He looked like hell tonight, too, but managed to get his show done. He’s a newsperson with values and a heart. 💜👹