Preserving Democracy More Assertively: How One Simple Question Can Break Open Your Mental Limits

The Jack Hopkins Now Newsletter #328

What Would Happen If You Could?

How One Simple Question Can Break Open Your Mental Limits

“What would happen if you could?
What would happen if you did?
What would happen if you couldn’t?
What would happen if you didn’t?”

This isn’t just a thought experiment. It’s a tool…one that can stretch your imagination, disrupt your inner dialogue, and expand your sense of self.

It comes from the Meta Model, a set of language patterns designed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder to challenge the limits we unconsciously place on our thinking.

I have used the Meta Model for almost thirty years of working with my clients, and continue to use it in my own thinking, today.

The Self-Imposed Walls We Don’t Notice

We all live by invisible rules:

• “I can’t switch careers.”

• “I’m not someone who takes risks.”

• “I would never be good at that.”

• “That’s just the way I am.”

These aren’t facts. They’re often assumptions…formed from past experiences…cultural conditioning…or internalized fears. But because we rarely question them…they quietly define our boundaries.

This is where the question comes in.

What would happen if you could?

The mind is suddenly forced to do something radical: imagine a version of you beyond the limit. You don’t have to act…yet…you just have to consider it. That alone creates movement.

A Gentle Disruption of Certainty

Let’s say you believe:

“I can’t speak in public.”

Try asking:
“What would happen if I could?”

Your mind may begin to simulate that version of yourself. Maybe you're calm. Maybe you're eloquent. Maybe you still feel fear…but you speak anyway. You see the possibility…not just the problem.

Even asking the reverse—
“What would happen if I didn’t?”—
can have power, especially when applied to behaviors you’ve clung to for too long.

For example:

“I always have to be in control.”

What would happen if you didn’t? Would everything fall apart? Or might you find freedom…creativity…or new kinds of connection?

Imagination Is Rehearsal

Here’s where things get neurological.

The brain doesn’t fully distinguish between real and imagined experience. When you imagine doing something…you activate many of the same brain regions as when you actually do it.

This means that:

Every time you ask, “What would happen if I did?”,
you're running a mental rehearsal of that action.

And the more you imagine yourself doing something new…the more possible it starts to feel…because your brain has already started paving that neural pathway.

Breaking Predictive Loops

Your mind constantly predicts outcomes based on your past. That’s useful…until it becomes a prison.

If you failed once…you expect to fail again. If you felt pain before…you assume it’ll come back. But those predictions often aren’t about reality…they’re about pattern recognition gone stale.

Asking:

“What would happen if I didn’t react this time?”
“What would happen if I chose differently?”

can interrupt the cycle. It opens up a space between stimulus…and response. And that space is where choice lives.

The Self as a Creative Act

This question doesn’t just help you “think positive.” It helps you reconstruct your sense of self.

• Instead of “I’m not a leader,” you ask, “What would happen if I led?”

• Instead of “I don’t take risks,” you ask, “What would happen if I did?”

• Instead of “That’s just who I am,” you ask, “But who else could I be?”

Suddenly, the self isn’t a static label. It’s a canvas.

The Question in Clincal Use

A young woman walked into my office, eyes fixed on the floor. As we shook hands…she said quietly, “Nice to meet you... I’m Mary,” without ever looking up.

Once seated, she continued staring at a spot on the wall behind me…about 18 inches above my head. Still avoiding eye contact, she said, “I’m the one who called because I can’t look people in the eye.”

Almost reflexively, I replied, “I’m curious…what would happen if you did?”

Without thinking…her eyes flicked downward and locked with mine. The moment she realized what had happened…her face flushed red…and tears started streaming down her cheeks.

Not the slow, reflective kind….but the “oh no, I don’t know what to do” kind.

Panic shimmered behind her eyes. Her breathing grew tight. Her chest constricted. It was as if her whole body had hit an internal tripwire.

And inside my head, I thought, “Beautiful.”
Not because she was in pain…but because we had just uncovered the pattern together.

In that fleeting moment of eye contact…we saw what her system did in response: constricted breath…a flood of feeling…an automatic…emotional unraveling.

Her body told the story she couldn’t put into words. We didn’t have to analyze it…we experienced it.

From there, I guided her into a paradoxical behavior pattern…something unexpected… something to interrupt the loop.

We worked with that space for the next twenty minutes…not trying to fix it…just exploring what her system did when it met connection.

That moment changed everything…not because she suddenly became “cured,” but because she experienced herself doing the very thing she believed she couldn’t… and lived through it.

Over the next three sessions…with a bit of guidance…she resolved it.

That was nearly twenty years ago. Since then…she’s spent over a decade as a choir director at her church…comfortably making eye contact with others in the easy…natural rhythm you’d expect in any relaxed adult conversation.

It all started with that one…simple…but when used appropriately…powerful question.

The Practice

Try this the next time you hit a wall…emotionally…mentally…or creatively. Ask yourself:

• What would happen if I could?

• What would happen if I did?

• What would happen if I didn’t?

• What would happen if I couldn’t?

Let the answers surprise you. Don’t rush to act…just listen. You’re not trying to convince yourself. You’re trying to explore beyond your default narrative.

That exploration alone can be enough to shift everything.

The Meat & Potatoes

The boundary between “possible” and “impossible” is often just the story you haven’t challenged yet.

So, next time your mind says “I can’t”,
try asking it instead:
“But what would happen if I could?”

Let me know what you discover.

Before I go…one more thing….

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Best,

Jack