Jack Hopkins Now Newsletter # 137

It's not 'Good'-It's Not 'Bad': Donald Trump's Dangerous Tool of Communication

“When can couple therapy be terminated?” “When the husband says to the wife, ‘This coffee is terrible’ and they BOTH know that he is talking about the coffee.’”

-Paul Watzlawick, Therapist

The quote above illustrates the challenge we have faced with Donald Trump since 2015. He speaks using implication, saying things that imply something dark that those listening infer.

Implication is a tool we all wield. For instance, when my wife remarks, 'Boy, I’m cold,' during a drive, she's not just stating a fact. She's implying that she’d appreciate it if I adjusted the climate control to a warmer setting.

As an agent of change, I often used implication to guide the conversation. When I was still seeing clients, I’d say, ‘I don’t think I’ve heard about your eating habits and how you do there’ as a manner of presenting less to resist or get defensive about. I knew my client would infer that I meant “Please tell me about your eating habits and how you do there.”

The risk with implication in our normal day-to-day lives is that the intended recipient might not infer to meaning we had intended. If I tell my wife, ‘I won’t have time to drop this off at the post office today,’ she might infer that I plan to do it tomorrow, instead, when what I really meant was, ‘Please drop this off at the post office today.’