Thank you Jack…thank you! Some days I just want to run away…and it seems that nothing is going to stop them! Then I remember that I am not alone in this, that so many others are resisting and fighting back! Very good advice that we can apply to this and many others situations in our lives! Take Care…keep sharing your thoughts, look forward to reading every one of your posts!
Christie...I’m really glad you said this. That swing between “I want to run” and “I’m not alone” is something a lot of people are feeling right now...and the fact that you can name it means you’re not shutting down. You’re staying aware.
And...you’re exactly right...the moment we remember there are millions of others paying attention...and pushing back in their own ways...the weight shifts. We don’t have to carry ALL of it. We just carry our piece.
Christie, if we each and all holdfast and keep up with Jack’s advice the best we can, we also have strength in knowing that we each are doing this and that we are not alone.
You mentioned that some days the idea of just running away sounds appealing. It’s funny you should mention that now, because I was thinking at one point when I looked at a list of various things going wrong in our country as shared by somebody, that maybe Alice in Wonderland was not in such a bad place -although she was in that fictitious story, and that Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, made it through and came home with a pair of ruby slippers. Then the song came to mind, “Fly Me to the Moon”.
The fact is though, that I want to stay right here, right here in my own home place, this place where generations of our families and our family lives have worked hard to make it the home and the place that it is, that generations of our families when they were from other countries worked hard and gave up a lot to move to this country hundreds of years ago, or more recently in some situations. Through the generations, so many people and every family line have had hope for their line’s future generations, whether or not they lived long enough to see the generations coming after them. So the song coming to mind right now is “This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land”, and right now, you might be singing it! “God Bless America” comes to mind as well, and we love our country; we love our lives; we love our families, and we want other individuals and families to be happy, congenial and successful as well. So whether the day is darkened, or whether it is bright and sunny, we can have strength and encouragement in our self talk, in the examples Jack has given, and in knowing that when a person is down, we can help by sharing some of these ideas, and that they would do the same for us by giving us a leg up with a very thoughts we need to pull us back into the strength that is within us.
Christie, thank you for being on here and for sharing your thoughts. It is wonderful that we can all come here to share, to learn of like minds when we might feel like the only person nearby with similar thoughts and hopes, and to learn of different perspectives as well. We all want the best for our country, our world, and for people everywhere!
Also, I think a good book for a lot of people is “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten”. Of course some of us lived when kindergartens were private only. Later public schools began having them.
Timely as usual. I swear you can 'read' the ether. And I want to say issuing yourself orders IS self care. I worked with kids from the streets, desperate situations, who came to Job Corps - a very big decision. When their black hole threatened them, I did not send them off to distract themselves with a movie. Together we made concrete plans and self-order mantras, if you will, for the next 10 minutes, hour, evening, next day, to help them stay connected to themselves, and to their bold decision to come to Job Corps. It was, of course, an ongoing process. I loved that job, those amazing kids - and all that I learned from them about not letting go of yourself, taking an easy out …
First...thank you for the work you did. Kids standing on the edge of a black hole don’t need distraction. They need orientation. They need someone steady enough to say, “Okay. Next ten minutes. Here’s what we do.” That’s not control. That’s care.
You’re absolutely right...issuing yourself orders is self-care.
When the ground feels unstable...clarity is compassion. A simple directive...drink water... make the call...write the email...go to sleep...show up tomorrow......can be the rope...that keeps someone from slipping back into chaos.
It reconnects you to your own agency.
What you described...is powerful...because it honors the bold decision. You helped them stay loyal to their own courage. Not through platitudes. Through STRUCTURE.
That’s what #HoldFast really is.
Not white-knuckling.
Not denial.
Not pretending everything’s fine.
It’s choosing...in the next ten minutes...NOT to abandon yourself.
And the fact that you learned from them, that you saw their strength...instead of just their struggle...says a lot about YOU, Toni.
This is how resilience is built. Quietly. Practically. One directive at a time.
I start every day with 30 minutes on the treadmill. Every day! Even if I don't want to get out of bed! (especially when I don't want toget out of bed)! Every excuse I can conjure up can be addressed later in the day. I do it, every day, as practice for when the going really gets tough, because then I know I can tackle any hurdle I encounter.
CLF, what you’re doing each morning isn’t about the treadmill. It’s about PROOF. You’re proving to yourself...DAILY...that you move even when you don’t feel like it.
That builds something deeper than motivation. It builds TRUST.
When real pressure hits...you won’t wonder whether you can handle it. You’ll already know ...because you’ve practiced choosing action over excuses. Well done!
Thank you for this gift of wise encouragement, Jack. Probably some readers, or any number of readers of this particular feed-forward message, recognize various responses you offered for strength. What strikes me, besides the important value of it all, is that some self talk is what I have said regarding some unavoidable happenings in life, yet you brought recognition to mind that in the most recent of these later years, it has become possible to forget a go to response which was once, and as often as needed, so familiar. Thank you!
What you just described happens to all of us at some point. The phrases...the grounding thoughts...the internal posture that once came naturally… can go quiet. Not because they stopped being true. Not because we lost strength. But...because life layered on fatigue... noise...grief and time.
And...then something simple...a reminder...a phrase...a nudge......brings it back online.
That doesn’t mean you were weak. It means you’re human.
The strength was never gone. It was just waiting to be RE-recognized.
I actually think there’s something beautiful about that. We don’t just build resilience once... and keep it polished forever. We RE-discover it. We RE-choose it. We remember who we’ve already been.
The fact that you caught this...that you recognized an old...reliable inner response returning...tells me it’s still very much YOURS.
Sometimes #HOLDFAST isn’t about gripping harder.
It’s about remembering...the grip you already know
Jack, thank you. You couldn’t possibly know how timely… how personal… this is for me… both regarding what we’re facing in this country… and on a personal level.
As someone who’s dealt with very early trauma and is empathic, NOT abandoning myself has been a challenge. Sometimes the input is so pervasive, I ‘go to ground’ meaning I shut out the competing energies, get into nature or play some soothing music or get physically active or do some small, anything kind of chore that’s been hanging fire so I can clear my head, tune into what’s going on internally and fight through the fog of overwhelm, emotional reaction, the urge to run to distractions. Occasionally it’s only baby steps and I allow myself that. Sometimes I swear you have a perch in my head!
As someone else said, you are always timely and I believe the actions you laid out will be crucial in the days ahead. Thank you for the encouragement and clarity re: actionable steps to take.
I am not capable right now of joining the fray. I have to sit on the sidelines for awhile longer. But I thank you for helping me.
When I first subscribed to you I shared that my husband was dying and I was his care giver. I felt I could never get through those dark days and nothing could be worse. He died two Sundays ago. Boy was I wrong. My grief comes in waves, and some days I feel like I am drowning. I fixed myself one of our favorite meals, chicken piccata, and cried because he wasn't there to share it with me. Then, instead of letting my grief swallow me, I washed the dishes. I made myself wash the dishes. And it calmed me. Little steps.
I'm a new subscriber. This article is worth the price of the entire Year! Thanks so much --- Just what I needed especially when I get down over the news headlines. Brilliant article!
Wow! Thank you! I sometimes feel like I am approaching a “black hole”, the kind in outer space, about to be sucked in. It’s depressing. This will help a lot!
Thank you Jack…thank you! Some days I just want to run away…and it seems that nothing is going to stop them! Then I remember that I am not alone in this, that so many others are resisting and fighting back! Very good advice that we can apply to this and many others situations in our lives! Take Care…keep sharing your thoughts, look forward to reading every one of your posts!
Christie...I’m really glad you said this. That swing between “I want to run” and “I’m not alone” is something a lot of people are feeling right now...and the fact that you can name it means you’re not shutting down. You’re staying aware.
And...you’re exactly right...the moment we remember there are millions of others paying attention...and pushing back in their own ways...the weight shifts. We don’t have to carry ALL of it. We just carry our piece.
I’m grateful you’re here...and I’m honored you’re reading. We keep going... steady...clear, together!
-Jack
Christie, if we each and all holdfast and keep up with Jack’s advice the best we can, we also have strength in knowing that we each are doing this and that we are not alone.
You mentioned that some days the idea of just running away sounds appealing. It’s funny you should mention that now, because I was thinking at one point when I looked at a list of various things going wrong in our country as shared by somebody, that maybe Alice in Wonderland was not in such a bad place -although she was in that fictitious story, and that Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, made it through and came home with a pair of ruby slippers. Then the song came to mind, “Fly Me to the Moon”.
The fact is though, that I want to stay right here, right here in my own home place, this place where generations of our families and our family lives have worked hard to make it the home and the place that it is, that generations of our families when they were from other countries worked hard and gave up a lot to move to this country hundreds of years ago, or more recently in some situations. Through the generations, so many people and every family line have had hope for their line’s future generations, whether or not they lived long enough to see the generations coming after them. So the song coming to mind right now is “This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land”, and right now, you might be singing it! “God Bless America” comes to mind as well, and we love our country; we love our lives; we love our families, and we want other individuals and families to be happy, congenial and successful as well. So whether the day is darkened, or whether it is bright and sunny, we can have strength and encouragement in our self talk, in the examples Jack has given, and in knowing that when a person is down, we can help by sharing some of these ideas, and that they would do the same for us by giving us a leg up with a very thoughts we need to pull us back into the strength that is within us.
Christie, thank you for being on here and for sharing your thoughts. It is wonderful that we can all come here to share, to learn of like minds when we might feel like the only person nearby with similar thoughts and hopes, and to learn of different perspectives as well. We all want the best for our country, our world, and for people everywhere!
Also, I think a good book for a lot of people is “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten”. Of course some of us lived when kindergartens were private only. Later public schools began having them.
#HOLDFAST!
Once again this message feels personal - it’s exactly what I needed today! Thank you!
Lori...Good! You're welcome.
-Jack
I love the way the folks in Jack’s threads offer their own suggestions and thoughtful support to one another.
The reason things feel personal here is because we don’t mind reaching out to one another in this space.
“Fly Me To the Moon,” always progresses quickly in my mind to, “In other words, hold my hand.”
Here’s mine any time you could use one. You’re more than capable without it, but it never hurts to know there’s one available should you want one.
#HoldFast, y’all. 💙
Wow. Just wow. " . . . not interruptions . . . auditions." What a perfect reframing and turn-the-corner way of thinking. Sooooo helpful!
Gretchen...I'm reading your comment as, "Gretchen felt a powerful shift!" I don't think I'm wrong. I love that you shared that with us!
-Jack
And you didn’t even have to submit a headshot or credits. Awesome!!
Timely as usual. I swear you can 'read' the ether. And I want to say issuing yourself orders IS self care. I worked with kids from the streets, desperate situations, who came to Job Corps - a very big decision. When their black hole threatened them, I did not send them off to distract themselves with a movie. Together we made concrete plans and self-order mantras, if you will, for the next 10 minutes, hour, evening, next day, to help them stay connected to themselves, and to their bold decision to come to Job Corps. It was, of course, an ongoing process. I loved that job, those amazing kids - and all that I learned from them about not letting go of yourself, taking an easy out …
#HoldFast
Toni...I love this. Truly.
First...thank you for the work you did. Kids standing on the edge of a black hole don’t need distraction. They need orientation. They need someone steady enough to say, “Okay. Next ten minutes. Here’s what we do.” That’s not control. That’s care.
You’re absolutely right...issuing yourself orders is self-care.
When the ground feels unstable...clarity is compassion. A simple directive...drink water... make the call...write the email...go to sleep...show up tomorrow......can be the rope...that keeps someone from slipping back into chaos.
It reconnects you to your own agency.
What you described...is powerful...because it honors the bold decision. You helped them stay loyal to their own courage. Not through platitudes. Through STRUCTURE.
That’s what #HoldFast really is.
Not white-knuckling.
Not denial.
Not pretending everything’s fine.
It’s choosing...in the next ten minutes...NOT to abandon yourself.
And the fact that you learned from them, that you saw their strength...instead of just their struggle...says a lot about YOU, Toni.
This is how resilience is built. Quietly. Practically. One directive at a time.
Hold fast, indeed!
-Jack
The first time I successfully “executed anyway”, it didn’t dazzle with fireworks.
Instead, it arrived with confidence.
It can be done.
Karin...Thank you! There's nothing like testimony from people who have "been there/done that" And...YES...it can be done.
-Jack
I start every day with 30 minutes on the treadmill. Every day! Even if I don't want to get out of bed! (especially when I don't want toget out of bed)! Every excuse I can conjure up can be addressed later in the day. I do it, every day, as practice for when the going really gets tough, because then I know I can tackle any hurdle I encounter.
#HoldFast
CLF, what you’re doing each morning isn’t about the treadmill. It’s about PROOF. You’re proving to yourself...DAILY...that you move even when you don’t feel like it.
That builds something deeper than motivation. It builds TRUST.
When real pressure hits...you won’t wonder whether you can handle it. You’ll already know ...because you’ve practiced choosing action over excuses. Well done!
That’s #HoldFast in its purest form.
-Jack
Thank you for this gift of wise encouragement, Jack. Probably some readers, or any number of readers of this particular feed-forward message, recognize various responses you offered for strength. What strikes me, besides the important value of it all, is that some self talk is what I have said regarding some unavoidable happenings in life, yet you brought recognition to mind that in the most recent of these later years, it has become possible to forget a go to response which was once, and as often as needed, so familiar. Thank you!
#HOLDFAST!!!!
Judy, this is such an honest thing to notice.
What you just described happens to all of us at some point. The phrases...the grounding thoughts...the internal posture that once came naturally… can go quiet. Not because they stopped being true. Not because we lost strength. But...because life layered on fatigue... noise...grief and time.
And...then something simple...a reminder...a phrase...a nudge......brings it back online.
That doesn’t mean you were weak. It means you’re human.
The strength was never gone. It was just waiting to be RE-recognized.
I actually think there’s something beautiful about that. We don’t just build resilience once... and keep it polished forever. We RE-discover it. We RE-choose it. We remember who we’ve already been.
The fact that you caught this...that you recognized an old...reliable inner response returning...tells me it’s still very much YOURS.
Sometimes #HOLDFAST isn’t about gripping harder.
It’s about remembering...the grip you already know
#HOLDFAST!!
-Jack
Thank you so much, Jack, for your beautifully kind reply.
#HOLDFAST!!
Jack, thank you. You couldn’t possibly know how timely… how personal… this is for me… both regarding what we’re facing in this country… and on a personal level.
Got it.. !!
Once again, I’m so glad I’m here.
#HOLDFAST
~Susan
Jack, this is a great post! Thank you.
As someone who’s dealt with very early trauma and is empathic, NOT abandoning myself has been a challenge. Sometimes the input is so pervasive, I ‘go to ground’ meaning I shut out the competing energies, get into nature or play some soothing music or get physically active or do some small, anything kind of chore that’s been hanging fire so I can clear my head, tune into what’s going on internally and fight through the fog of overwhelm, emotional reaction, the urge to run to distractions. Occasionally it’s only baby steps and I allow myself that. Sometimes I swear you have a perch in my head!
As someone else said, you are always timely and I believe the actions you laid out will be crucial in the days ahead. Thank you for the encouragement and clarity re: actionable steps to take.
I am not capable right now of joining the fray. I have to sit on the sidelines for awhile longer. But I thank you for helping me.
When I first subscribed to you I shared that my husband was dying and I was his care giver. I felt I could never get through those dark days and nothing could be worse. He died two Sundays ago. Boy was I wrong. My grief comes in waves, and some days I feel like I am drowning. I fixed myself one of our favorite meals, chicken piccata, and cried because he wasn't there to share it with me. Then, instead of letting my grief swallow me, I washed the dishes. I made myself wash the dishes. And it calmed me. Little steps.
Thank you.
Sue
I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Sue. You did what needed to be done in the moment, which is strong and true and brave.
As Jack said, that IS self care.
Thank you Cherae.
I'm a new subscriber. This article is worth the price of the entire Year! Thanks so much --- Just what I needed especially when I get down over the news headlines. Brilliant article!
As a person who's been tested:
Nasty divorces
Fired twice for breaking the pay bracket
Dispatched on request of coroner to identify a decayed decedent who turned out to be a friend
I can affirm your recommendation:
Stand up
Stiffent your spine
Take a deep breath, a 2nd if needed
Make a plan.
If the tested needs a starting point: define the problem.
If there are more than eleven words in your sentence, you're still talking about a symptom of the problem.
Rewrite your definition.
One sentence only.
Oh, WOW!!! You got me with the 11 words. The typewriter lever on my head just “dinged” all the way back to the left.
Thank you for the priceless reminder.
Thank you! Not many chuckles for we who've been put out to pasture.
HA!!! Just left ‘em TRY!
Wow! Thank you! I sometimes feel like I am approaching a “black hole”, the kind in outer space, about to be sucked in. It’s depressing. This will help a lot!
Solid advice. 👍
Great post Jack. Simple and timely. Live for today. Tomorrow becomes today. We'll outlast the bastards!